We broke up 2 months ago, but that time was very troubled, full of ups and downs and a lot of pain. I almost cheated on her in the past and I told her about it, which became a huge insecurity for her and was one of the reasons for the breakup. However, I believe we loved each other very much despite everything (even though I was a huge asshole) and after we broke up we tried to get back together several times, and in the meantime I created a horrible dependence on her.
In a short time she ended up having a something with another guy, they went out and ended up kissing (she told me) and that hurt me a lot. I ended up thinking: “at the end of the day, don’t I deserve this for what I’ve already done to her?” So, my ex tells me she likes this guy a lot but not how she once felt with me and she still loves me a lot, and that maybe she won’t love anyone else the same way (I know).
However we can’t be together, our families don’t like each other very much after what happened with the breakup. So if something happened and we came back it wouldn’t be like before. We tried to block each other thousands of times but we always come back with the same story that it’s hard to be without each other and stuff. This time she told me to just try to be friends and who knows if something happens we’ll get back together. But I just can’t, I even wanted to try and hold on to that hope of fighting again to be together with her, but I don’t think I can. Every time she sends me something more affectionate, I grab on to it and if she’s “distant” I feel really bad.
I humiliated myself a lot just to be able to try again. And I’m suffering every single day, remembering the good times and trapping myself in the past. She’s treating me in a really douchebag way, different from the affectionate way she used to be and I don’t know if it’s because I’ve become weak and dependent on her or that’s really it, she’s just changed. I really wanted to try it, but I don’t know if it’s worth going through it again. And even if by some miracle we came back, would it work? I can’t deny that we love each other very much, but man, we became very different and we hurt each other a lot. And now I feel pathetic. I don’t know if I should try something or just give up and block her for good (risking being an idiot and unlocking again, coming back in the same cycle)
2 comments
> I believe we loved each other very much
And yet you almost cheated? You didn’t love her
In any case, dude, that’s too much drama because of one relationship. Move the fuck on.
Unless
1. You’ve changed in ways that mean you’re new people that won’t have the same issues
2. You both can forgive the past
Likely answer to both of this is no.
The same cycle will repeat.
Neither of you has done anything to make it different. No therapy, no life altering experience.
This won’t work. You may get back together but it will continue the same cycle.