Mothers of Reddit, at what point did you feel you started loving your child?

19 comments

1. The first scans for both of them.

   Seeing them moving on the screen made it properly real because I could actually see them.

2. The moment I found out I was pregnant

3. I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum for all 10 months of pregnancy. I puked between 20 and 40 times per day. I could barely hold food or water. My son’s diet was basically Zofran and seltzer water. He was at risk of being born premature, underweight, and malnourished. I didn’t think he would make it, but when I was 19 weeks, I got my first stretch mark. And every week after that, I would get more, which meant he was growing. That boy held on for dear fucking life. Each night, I would tell him how proud I was of him for making it another lousy day. I’d tell him how far he had come.

   He was born at 39+4, 8lbs 10oz. Perfectly healthy. But I was in love with him from the moment I first saw him at five weeks gestation. He was a little dot with a heartbeat. And despite how shitty it was for both of us, he didn’t let go. He danced during car rides but hated my seatbelt, so he’d wiggle up into my stomach and punch me in the cervix. He hated it even more when I put my phone on my belly. He’d kick it off. If you poked him, he’d poke back. There was never a moment I didn’t love him.

4. I prayed for my children, so even before birth

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6. After a month. I honestly did not get that overwhelming love feeling that people talk about even as I was holding my baby in the hospital. I got a fierce sense of protection and making sure I was gonna do right by her but that loving gushy feeling came about 1 month.

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   edit to add: for my second, it was immediate because I knew what it was like and what I would feel and that was exciting. I don’t love easily so this wasn’t alarming.

7. With my first, it honestly took a while. I was young (23), he had colic. I didn’t sleep, I didn’t eat, all I remember doing was walking with him to try to soothe him. Pediatrician was no help whatsoever. Husband was working most of time. I would have killed for him, but that deep down love feeling probably didn’t come until he was 6 months old. My second (who I was so scared would be the same way) was the most easiest going baby. Loved him immediately.

8. During the pregnancy. Certainly by the first scan.

9. With my first, it was the moment I found out I was pregnant. The pregnancy was easy, he was an easy baby, and the sweetest toddler.

   With my second…she was a surprise and the pregnancy was rough and I didn’t bond with her for months after she was born. I had postpartum and she never seemed to sleep. I think it was over a year before we truly bonded and I felt love for her.

10. The second I had a positive pregnancy test. He’s been my reason to do better ever since. He’s nearly 8 now, and I’d die for that kid.

11. They were loved as soon as they were inside me, and once they were born that was it, I knew I would love them for all eternity.

12. When we had the first scan and the doc said to the typing assistant – “the longer diameter is 2.8 cm”. She certainly said other things as well, but that was all that I remembered. I went home and draw a 2.8 cm oval in my notebook, looked at it all evening and felt all the love in the world flooding in. And the love has only grown from that day on. I’ll have the second ultrasound not long from now, can’t wait.

13. The moment I first saw her image as a little dot in my belly. I was taken for this primitive love I’ve never had before. I know that everyone is different, but I felt it from the start

14. At the 20 week anatomy scan. Baby was moving his hands around his face. We saw the little feet. My baby had the cutest profile, cute lil nose and slight overbite. It was the cutest ultrasound picture I’ve ever seen. It cemented for me that this baby is real, and we’ve passed a major hurdle in pregnancy. It gave me the courage to finally connect with my baby.

15. Around 6 months old.

16. When I held the positive test in my hands

17. I was 21 and in an abusive marriage. I wasn’t in the right mental space for a baby. I was a horrible mother for the first five or six months, and then one day, something bizarre happened. My son was crying in his crib, and I sleepily got up and went to see what he needed.

    I’ll never forget this moment as long as I live, I swear to god. I made it to the side of his crib, and looked in. He got the biggest smile on his face when he saw me, and reached out for me with both arms. It felt like lightning had struck me. It felt like a punch to the gut. I was struck speechless. In that very second, my heart went “Holy shit. I love this child more than life itself. He will be the love of my life forever.”

    My son is 15 years old and autistic, and can’t imagine not loving him. Not knowing him. I carry a lot of guilt in my heart for those first months of his life, and I don’t know if that will ever go away. I STILL look at him sometimes and it takes my breath away.

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