We have been together for 6 months, but we have known each other for longer. Anyways, she is wonderful, loving, beatiful, smart, hardworking, funny… she has it all. Im deeply in love and so is she, but there is a rough issue going on. We are in the same class by the way
The problem is that when we arent together, texting and calling is a hell for me. She is a very sad person and things havent been going well for her recently.
For context, she is obsessed with studying and getting good marks, but she isnt getting the marks she deserves most of the time.
So, basically, she is pretty sensitive most of the time and I have to walk on egg-shells for her not to get mad at me, through text or calls, in person she is wonderful, though.
The thing is that she gets very Angry over small stuff, for example, she starts crying in a call, I comfort her and stuff and then I go quiet while she is still sobbing, she hangs up, then goes overkill with me through text “im miserable, why dont you break up with me, im a burden, i have nothing left (just bc she got a bad mark), just leave me, I wanna die…”
Sometimes, its my fault, I fuck up, its natural, im a pretty laid back and chill person and I dont know how to effectively comfort someone, especially through text or in a call. However, im working on that, and every time it happens I acknowledge it and apologise.
My point is that she goes OVERKILL, when things like these happen, and it makes me feel bad af, I feel useless, because Im always at fault (according to her) and sad because of the things she says.
She has done this like 3 or 4 times in a short period of time. One of these, I told her
“Okay, you have done this before, you clearly dont want to be in this relationship anymore and for some reason you dont wanna be the one to leave me, so lets break up” To which she responded saying “No please dont leave me now I need you more than ever, not now…”
And basically, I forgave her, she agreed to work on these outburst and we have a wonderful relationship now.
Except we dont, she did this again today, she told me she wanted to cry (like 3 or 4 days after the previous incident) and I didnt reply (we were in a call), she started acting distant, Hung up and started saying things like “you dont care about me, I dont know why you are with me…” On a quick note, when she starts acting like this, I try to comfort her, recognize my mistakes, tell her I wanna be with her… but none of it works
This time, I told her that maybe we shouldnt call each other anymore nor text, and she said she couldnt do that, she apologised for talking like she did (as per usual) and she begged me to forgive her. So, once again, we told each other we would work on our “flaws”
We are good again, but I dont know what to do next time this happens, I dont wanna leave her, I genuinely feel that being with her makes me work harder and a better person overall. However, this issue actually made me cry the other day when it happened and im starting to feel vulnerable and hurt when it happens
TL;DR: moody gf, says things she regrets when she gets mad, concurrent issue destroying the relationship
3 comments
This feels manipulative. It seems as though her goal is getting the kind of attention she wants, when she wants. And if you don’t respond in the way she is clearly trying to steer you towards, she makes you the bad guy.
I think it’s leaving time, my friend. I promise you will be able to find someone who gives you the same feeling of being a better person WITHOUT the twice-weekly meltdowns for attention.
Communication is key in any relationship, have an open and honest conversation with her about how her outbursts make you feel.
People don’t just act this way for no reason, Especially the way you describe her. I suggest you take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself why she’s acting this way, what leads to it…
If the roles were reversed what would you do If you were treated the way you treat her in all aspects?
It’s a 2 way road maybe she just wants to end it because it’s too much. It’s best you talk to her about it, it seems people have a lot of balls to talk on here but never in person. Even if you think they get what’s going on in your head no one is a mind reader period.