TLDR: Ex is holding out hope, but another person has shown interest in me. Unsure if I should take them up on the offer
Hi, made a throwaway account as people know my other account, specifically a certain person.
My ex and I have broken up recently after a long term relationship we were in since our teens. There were several reasons but I stand by my decision. I have made it clear it is a break up, not just a break.
My ex has made it clear that they’d like to reconcile. I’ve informed them that if I see the necessary change, I’d be open to it, but that they shouldn’t work on themselves with the end goal being reconciliation, a sits not guaranteed.
I genuinely believe it is possible. However, it’s not something I’m working towards, I’d rather take this time being single as a chance to work on myself.
That being said, it’s been over a month since things have ended. Another person has currently shown interest in me. I’m interested as well. I think, based on the conversations, that it is purely sexual interest from their side, which I would reciprocate if that’s the case.
Past of the reason why things ended with my ex, is that for 2 years they did not look my way. It was essentially a dead bedroom with me giving my all and not getting even a conversation or reason back. I also have periods of low sex drive so I tried to be understanding. After several talks nothing improved.
My questions are: 1.Should I take the person asking me out up on the offer? Could this just be me acting irrational because I’m so pent up?
2.would it be morally correct? My ex is clearly still holding out hope despite me having made the situation clear. Do I owe them anything, despite the relationship being over?
4 comments
My advice is to never go back down the road you came from, especially if there is a path leading to your future.
If you’ve made it abundantly clear to your X then you should move on! Going back out will only confuse your X and it’s not fair to you.
Fuck new person
Okay, hear me out. Have you considered being honest with the ex and telling them exactly what you’re thinking right now regarding entertaining other people? I ask for a few reasons.
The first is that you stated the breakup was necessary, do you honestly intend on getting back with them if change happens? Their motivation is flawed, so I can’t say the change will stick, but the question remains.
The second is, do you think if you share that you’re interested in someone else that you will lose the ex? You’ve already chosen to breakup with them and entertain someone else, do you feel like you’re holding out hope for that relationship that you’re not admitting to yourself?
For the record, I say be single and pursue other people, but I don’t think you’re being 100% honest with yourself about your intentions with your ex. This is in no way meant to be a dig at you, I’m all for people exploring new opportunities, but if you’re harboring some kind of guilt or moral quandary, I always think being forward and honest is the best bet. With yourself and your ex.