TL;DR She works too much in my opinion, so I distanced myself from her which then led to a fight where I do not know how to move forward from

We are together for little more than 2 1/2 years. I have a good paying job and she has a really well paying job, both mostly working from home. We both met in the same company but earlier this year I moved to a different company because of the very bad culture there (consulting firm). Now I am super happy with my current job with very regular working hours. She is Indian, I am German and we do not live together. We are in Germany though.

We started seeing each other back in 2020 when were still in the same company but we never worked together in any way. When we started dating she had a pretty shitty job with a supposedly disgusting boss which made her move to a different team end of last year. In between these 2 phases she had half a year of very little work. Now things start to become like back then again. Some people seem to treat her or her team incorrectly which leads to her having to deal with escalations and such after her working hours via mobile phone. This is mostly done via mail or messenger.

*Until then we were seeing each other 3-4 days per week since i still work in her city so commuting is not a big issue and she only works from home.*
This whole topic is kind of irritating since after office is after office and 99% of things can wait till the next day. I get, that there can always be special occasions since I work in IT myself but if this happens regularly, then I do not know how important it actually is. Work should not be that important to disturb our evenings which led to me staying less and less at her place because I can not properly deal with the negativity that comes with all of this. Even going to her place gives me this creepy feeling about “what might have happened today again”
Now I mostly stay 1-2 days per week.

The issue here is that she also says that she does not enjoy those things but still does them without a doubt. For her, this is part of her job and I should respect that even if it is not enjoyable for both of us.

2 Weeks ago we had a big fight exactly because of this topic and we have not seen each other since then. In her opinion I would not care about her job and would not even care to ask how her day was or why she would have to read an email at night and instead becoming annoyed and ignoring her. I have to admit that I don’t ask that much anymore about her work since it is mostly negative news and rather try to ignore/avoid it.

We agreed to have a conversation soon but I can not even properly describe how and if I want to move on at this point.

What is your general opinion on this? Am I wrong, is she wrong? Is noone wrong and is this just different work ethics colliding here?
Any opinion is appreciated since my mind is really rambling at this point.

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