How do I get her to stop asking?

11 comments

1. So first of all you’re entitled to say no and she should definitely not pressure you to do anything you don’t want to. Tbh if she’s putting that much pressure already she needs to stop cause I’m sure it a guy did that to her she’d feel very uncomfortable.

   Second, there’s nothing emasculating about enjoy anal play of any kind. It is not gay in any sense, that’s just societal biases that make you question your masculinity. The male g-spot is in your prostate only accessible anally. You might not enjoy it which is perfectly fine, but please stop it with the fragile masculinity or acting like it will make you gay to enjoy anal.

   Finally, it’s your decision what you want to do. If you are curious you can experiment yourself and try it so you know what you’re comfortable with. Use plenty of lube, use your fingers or a small plug and just see how you react.

2. You should not have to say NO multiple times.

3. 1. you are not obligated to do anything you do not want to do. Let her know this and state it as a clear boundary. She wouldn’t want her boundaries violated so you shouldn’t have yours violated either

   2. the idea that a woman doing something to a man makes him gay is… come on dude think that one out. If contact with an anus makes a man gay then you would be gay for wiping your own ass and every doctor on earth would be gay and every wrestler is gay and blah blah. If you’re straight you’re straight and that’s fine but a woman can put her entire leg up your ass and tickle your tonsils with her toes and you’re still straight.

   3. ass play feels AMAZING and if you’ve never had an orgasm with prostate massaging then you have not lived, sir.

4. It is extremely disrespectful to continue to ask after you’ve already said “no” multiple times. This to me is a big red flag in a relationship.

5. There absolutely are straight men who love prostate play as r/prostateplay will testify. But if you’re mentally turned off by the idea you probably won’t enjoy it and she should stop continuing to ask

6. haha you put it in her ass but don’t want it in yours? technically, sure, your body your choice, but you sound like an unreciprocating wuss with a weird homophobic great of “turning” gay from finding out you like something that a lot of other guys, gay and straight alike, also like.

7. I want to start by saying that it is absolutely your choice to deny anal play of any kind. I appreciate the fact that you’re honest about your own insecurities related to ass play. I’ve pegged by partners before by their own ask/choice, and they were very much straight men.

   So I think my concern here is your assumption that ass play makes a man gay or “less than”. I’d also encourage you to expand your friend pool, because it’s an incredibly limiting mindset to think that no one you know is exploring and if you are this judgmental about your own sexuality, do you really think anyone in your friend circle would disclose to you in the first place?

   Honestly, building up to pegging if you’ve never done it before is a big deal for some. It sounds like you’ve even tried to open up a bit with the ass play. But regardless, you have the right to say no and be done with it.

   Sex is a spectrum, man, have you considered that this person may not be the partner for you? Consider your boundaries, preferences and mutual respect. There seems to be a power imbalance in which your partner is trying to offset.

8. Well, first of all, anal penetration has nothing whatsoever to do with sexuality. Everyone has a butt, and almost everyone has the capacity to feel sexual pleasure from anal stimulation if that’s something they’re interested in. Gender and sexuality aren’t factors in that, except insofar as the cultural narratives we build around these things.

   That being said, if you don’t want to do it, you can say, “That’s not something I’m interested in doing. I will let you know if that ever changes, but unless I do, please don’t bring it up again because my answer is no.” If she doesn’t respect that clearly stated boundary, then you know you’re with someone who’s not safe to be with, and you should end the relationship.

9. You have some pretty big stigmas there.

   *”it would feel like i’m less of a man if I like it and it would make me question if I’m gay cause no straight man I know likes that stuff.”* – This is 100% not accurate. Many, many straight guys love butt play as well as pegging. A sex act is not gay or straight, gay is about what gender you are attracted to.

   *”I know there’s some straight guys who say they like it but I’m doubtful”* – Again, total BS. Go to r/ProstatePlay, r/Aneros, and r/StraightPegging. **Once again, Butt Play has NOTHING to do with being straight or gay.**

   *”ldn’t it be a turn off for a woman to be doing that to a man?” -* No more than it would be a turnoff for you to do it to her. Again, you are really off-base on this.

   *”Idk it feels emasculating and not something a straight guy would like.”* – wrong, wrong, wrong. wrong. Where do you get this idea?

   You can say “No, and let’s not discuss it again” or you can try and get over this attitude that some act is gay or straight, but that one is on you.

10. Just chuck her demands. If you ain’t comfortable then you don’t move forward. Being a straight guy I hate pegging as well. You are right about the fact that it is emasculating to some extent if you are averse to the idea. Also, anus isn’t meant to be a sex organ , it has a specific purpose which it serves everyday so keeping it injury free is very pivotal

11. Look – I am a sex educator who *teaches about pegging*, and I am still here saying that despite you having some **major** misconceptions and assumptions (covered by the other commenters) about the act, she should still respect your no. Her continuing to ask shows no respect for the boundary you set around pegging. Not a good sign = red flag.