Basically, I went through my partners phone (which I know isn’t a sign of a healthy relationship either lol) and I found my partner [23M] has been bragging to his friends about how he’s been hooking up with a girl, how he and his friends got cashier’s phone numbers, and how he matched with a SW on Tinder. I checked for any messages or contacts with these girls and I found nothing. The closest thing I found was he started following a local girl on IG and had liked her IG story. My first instinct was to completely end the relationship then and there but we had a similar argument before where he basically explained to me that it’s just “guy” talk and he was trying to brag in front of his friends. I’m not sure whether to just end it all or have a conversation/confront him about everything I had seen. We have been together for nearly 4 years and I just don’t know if I can wrap my head around the thought of us endingZ The worst part about it all is we were talking and starting to plan to move in together and now I’m just at a loss for words…
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You took a bite out of the apple, and now you have to make a devils choice. Admit to violating his trust in order to confront him, or pretend it never happened and live with the doubts.
Basically have him not trust you (for going through his phone), or you not completely trust him because of what you learned.
I think in this case I would keep quiet about it so as not to lose his trust, which is the most important thing in any relationship. Remember, you gained this info “illegally,” so it is not valid evidence in “court” And don’t go through his phone anymore.
But you can ask him how the locker room bragging is going (from before) and watch for non-phone signs of this stuff. Assuming it’s just bragging, this behavior is very immature and will dissipate in time, especially if you make fun of how he used to do it.
Basically I don’t think it’s worth destroying the relationship over.