It’s been about 3 weeks since we have been making plans. What can I say I’ve been depressed in the process of moving and I haven’t had any motivation. Not only that I didn’t want to come over his house. So when we’d make plans I’d say yeah and then I’d end up having to do something or just cancel. I’ve told the guy that it would be best not to talk anymore I’m tired of not committing to plans and making him upset. Instead he wanted to continue to talk to me. Then complain when I say I have to pack but I can still make it over later. I have really bad depression and anxiety finally opened up to him. All he says is aww well come see me and hangout with me. Driving half an hour to come see him idk I like him I just don’t have any motivation to really do anything and it’s taking me forever to pack . I have to move by the end of the week. And all he’s doing is well you said you’d come over and you’re making excuses. Be a adult and come see me. I feel very pressured and unheard by him . He’s like well you could’ve seen me earlier instead you went back to sleep. I had just woken up and went back to sleep due to being tired . And he’s like well you should’ve gotten up and this is why it take you forever to do things . Your outloook on life is sluggish. He isn’t even aiming for a relationship or anything long term . We aren’t dating and I’ve told him multiple times to find someone else. He acts like he doesn’t want to he’s 37 and I’m 20. I’m sure women would want to go out with him .
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speaking as someone wrapping up a move that’s lasted a couple of weeks now, it sounds like this guy is unreasonable and has no perspective on how time-consuming, exhausting, and generally difficult a move is. dude sounds pretty manipulative too
He’s right you should start acting like an adult. Don’t start dating someone if you’re not mentally prepared to do it. Not only are you making excuses, you’re also flaking on him when you agreed to meet and you don’t even really want to see him. So let him find someone who will put in the same amount of effort he does. You’re acting like he should understand you because you have mental health problems, but you don’t give him the same courtesy. And being understood has it’s limits. Dating someone with anxiety and/or depression means showing more compassion and understanding when they voice a concern, when a compromise needs to be made, when they need a little extra support, helping them out with certain things, etc. it doesn’t mean he has to put up with continuously being shown he’s not a priority or even remotely important to you, nor does it mean he’s the only one making an effort or having to compromise. So get your shit together and take all the time you need to do that, your mental health is important but don’t make other people unhappy in the process.
I mean if he cared that much he would be driving to go see you instead. Regardless you ended the relationship, it can’t work without both of you. Not to mention he doesn’t sound like the best if he’s pressuring you so much like this. Hope you get some help for the depression though, good luck to ya
Okay, I’ve been on the opposite end of this. I dated a girl who was in med school, so she understandably had very little free time. So I’ll say this…
You’re busy, and you have a lot going on. He should understand that and be patient. But that’s if you guys were dating, from the sounds of it. You’re not officially together. So he has ZERO business asking so much from you and being this needy and clingy and demanding. Either he needs to commit, then he can complain about you guys not spending enough time together, or he needs to shut up.
That being said…..If you REALLY wanted to spend time with him. You would. You’d find ways to do things together even if one of you was tired or stressed. Being together isn’t just about when it’s convenient, it’s also being together when it’s inconvenient. Relationships are work. But again, this is if you guys were officially dating. Which you’re not, so you don’t need to justify yourself to him. You’re busy, you’re tired, that’s all the justification you need.
Sounds to me like you guys need to discuss what exactly your relationship with each other entails, work out what’s exactly you are to each other and then move forward and lay down some rules and boundaries.
GIRL WHY ARE YOU DATING A 37 YEAR OLD????? Did no one else read that? What the fuck.
Dump his ass and find someone your own age. Stop being so easily manipulated by older men who only want you because you’re young and naive. Have some self respect.