What si your thoughts on men who ghost/do not date a girl who sleeps with them on the first date?

24 comments

  3. Is that why he ghosted her or decided not to date her? Then he’s hypocritical misogynist trash.

  4. You know what, I think it’s fine for people to want to test sexual chemistry as early as possible. This is far from something I see only men do, I feel like this has become very common for women to express too: If there’s no sex on the first or second date, they move on because they don’t want to get attached to someone they end up being sexually incompatible with.

    Do I personally understand this take? Nope! Not in the slightest. But it’s also their personal choice and preference that takes away nothing from me. I wouldn’t want to date them either, so it’s a good thing they make this clear as soon as possible, IMO.

  5. Why does it matter? Sex can be JUST sex and something you do for fun. It doesn’t have to equal some big commitment to someone and you do dont owe anyone anything t just because you had sex with them.

  7. You can use whatever criteria you want to judge a first date. You’ve only met each other once, I don’t necessarily think they owe a reason to why they don’t want a second date. I personally wouldn’t date someone before we slept together because I want to make sure we’re sexually compatible since that’s one of the most important thing to me. If they have that type of hang up about sex, we’re not compatible and the sex was probably bad anyways.

  8. I ghost people when I see them as a risk. If I don’t see them as a risk, I extend them the courtesy of a polite “thanks, no thanks” or whatever. To do otherwise would be rude.

    I expect the same of others. If they are ghosting simply because they are lazy or had intended to get laid and dip all along, then they are rude and gross.

    If they ghost a woman (I really hope you don’t mean literal girls) *because* she slept with them on the first date, then they are horrifically misogynistic. It is fucked up that men get accolades for getting laid and women get slut shamed. Anyone who pushes that sort of sexist double standard is a piece of shit.

  10. I donMt think it’s wrong. If someone doesn’t want to date you why would you care? Especially after one date?

    Also the girl as well as the boy decided to sleep together both of them, so it’s a risk some people are willing to take.

    I personally would never sleep with someone on a first date it’s not for me and I’m on the shy side. I meditate before every date to relieve a bit of my anxiety of just meeting them in person, so it’s not something I would ever do.

    Also while it’s not right there is still that view men have and some women have of women who sleep with guys on the first date. It’s a ridiculous double standard because it take two to tango.

    So if you choose to do that I think you have to know the risk that comes with that. The way the guy might view you after. He got you into bed after 1 dinner a lot of guys associate that with being “easy” which isn’t right.

    I once heard someone say guys tend to put girls in too categories very early on. Sorta “fun fling” and “GF potential” and sleeping with someone on a first date can easy sorta put you in the wrong category.

  11. It really depends on the expectations. If he led her on to believe he was in it for the long run and a girl who sleeps with people on the first date is not his kind of girl, then he should not sleep with her. It would make him a manipulator and a liar.

    However, if they discussed it and she knows he will never date her, then it is what it is.

  12. Pretty hypocritical to think less of someone for doing something you yourself participated in consensually

  13. I don’t understand why you would judge someone negatively for something you both participated in and agreed to.

  16. I think there’s a difference between “ghost” and “do not date.” Ghosting is rude. But there’s nothing wrong with being clear about expectations if you aren’t looking for anything serious.

    That said, I slept with my now live-in partner on the first date and we’ve been together for five and a half years. It can work — although to this day I can admit it was somewhat of a tactical error on my part. Just because it worked out doesn’t mean it was a good idea.

  17. If they’re honest about only wanting a hookup and the woman knew what she was getting into, that’s fine. There’s no reason to think she wanted to see him again either.

    If they’re lying or misleading these women into sleeping with them by giving them the impression that it’s the start of some sort of relationship, then they’re manipulative, awful people.

    Also, if adult men are sleeping with female children (girls) then that’s a problem whether they see them again or not

  18. It’s fine if they’re completely clear upfront that they’re only looking for a hookup and not to date. But they usually *aren’t* clear about that, which is the problem.

  21. They are not men they are immature boys who arent boyfriend material or even marriage material. These boys dont know how to treat a woman respectfully either most usually see a woman as just a sex object nothing more. Ghosting in general imo for both men and woman is dumb if you dont want to continue a conversation or potential relationship use your words out of mutual respect for the other person.

  23. Hmm. I would see him as less of a man who is coward that he cannot outright say he doesn’t want to see her anymore.

  24. Y’all, don’t engage. This guy is just fishing for answers that make him feel he is right. Look at his other posts.
    My god I feel bad for his wife /kids / whoever this girl is he is ghosting.

    This post cracks me up though- from OP: “Does anyone else think it is weird something so American (Christianity) is actually from what was originally a local Middle Eastern religion?”

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