Im 18 and for the past couple days ive been texting this coworker who I really like who is 17. Shes really really cute, and Ive had so much fun texting her these past couple days. We made a plan to meet up on wednesday and go on a small walk but she told me earlier today that she wouldnt be able to which is totally fine. I 100% understand that and I even told her that. But then I just had to fuck it up and sent her another message basically saying if she didnt want to hang out anymore that it was okay amd I wouldnt be hurt. I dont know why I sent it, well I do I, my mind sometimes thinks of these scenarios where I cant be happy and that was one of these times. I just thought that she only said yes because she just wanted to be nice and not that she liked me as well. And now it just feels awkward, I sent her a text apologizing about it but I cant stop feeling like I screwed myself by sending it. And just so u know this has never really happened to me before, every time Ive asked a girl out Ive always beem rejected so I’m just trying my best not to drown if that makes sense.
TLDR: I sent a very stupid text to my crush who I have been talking with for a while and I dont know if I can fix it.
8 comments
Yeah don’t do that, don’t pressure her. Just take your time.
Own it and move on, she may still want to talk with you but j learn from it if it goes another way. Just try not to project what you think will happen in between you and a person your interested in. This happens a lot w me and my bf, we are working through it. Hope this helps a bit 🙁
I think your best bet is to go on like it wasn’t even a concern. Just shrug it off.
But lay back a little for now so you don’t come on too strong, and see if you can get the fun texting going again.
Did she say why she couldn’t go for a walk?
Dood…take it from a counselor. What you’re describing sounds like rumination. You’re over-analyzing a situation she probably isn’t thinking about that deeply. I want to say, this is pretty normal stuff for 17-25ish folks. These interactions seem really important because you haven’t been through it too many times.
I know this is a cliche, but it’s also easier to attract a partner if you’re confident in yourself (and don’t put all your eggs in one basket). Spend some time on your hobbies and interests and try not to despair when things don’t work out. You’re young! This garbage will get easier if you don’t give up.
I used to do it too when I was younger, it’s a pretty common mistake lol. Don’t worry, you weren’t aggressive, and you apologized right after, so if she’s interested she’ll forgive you. Everyone has weak moments. Could be that she’s not interested and really did cancel because she decided she doesn’t want to go on a date. If that’s the case then it wouldn’t have worked anyway. Shake it off and try again when you meet someone cool.
There’s always the classic “hey, there’s this movie I’ve been wanting to check out, wanna watch it together?”
No need to apologize for being interested in her. And try not to put words in her mouth. Making baseless assumptions about what other people want is not going to win you any friends. Let her decide for herself.
I have had bad self esteem and anxiety, and I have done this kind of thing. You might want to look into CBT for managing anxiety. Just a suggestion though, it has helped me .
Yeah, you fucked up. You asked her to go on a walk, she said she couldn’t at the moment, and you blew that out into a “well if you don’t ever want to….”
Lesson learned. Stop sending texts without thinking about it first.
This is a recoverable situation. Pretend it never happened, stop/do not apologize for your message and let it flow under the bridge. Stay close, acknowledge that walking might not be a great idea since she had/has hip issues. Go to lunch instead … and drive there.