I had a horrible and traumatic past relationship, it was my longest relationship and it ended over a year ago due to him being verbally and mentally abus*ve, he claimed he was like that because of his depression, i “loved” him and stayed for 2 years. I haven’t wanted to date anyone since and honestly didn’t have ANY self esteem or confidence to, my ex killed any and all forms while we were together. Fast forward to now, i’ve worked proactively in rebuilding myself mentally, my self esteem is so much better and i’m mentally feeling loads better.
i recently met this amazing guy at a concert. We just automatically clicked, spent the whole night talking and laughing, the next day came and he had to go to work and instead called off to take me on a picnic at the beach, and then we stayed together til the next day when i had to go to work. I know it’s only the beginning but this guy is chivalrous, attentive, funny, genuine, PATIENT, understanding, calm, and has literally gone out of his way to try to make my life easier for me. I’m not used to this at all and there’s a deep dark feeling in me that there’s ulterior motives. I’m just so confused as to why he’s treating me so nicely, like why me? i know this could be remnants of my low self esteem from a year ago but i’m just not sure if this is him love-bombing me or just being a normal loving guy? How does one tell the difference? 🙁
2 comments
Hmm – speaking from my experience, i’d be careful because you might burn yourself here. I’ve dated girls where I told them I wanted to go slow and they kept pushing to see me, coming to my place, cancelling plans with their friends and then when i get attached they leave after a month saying they need to work on themselves.
So i’m not saying you should cut if off, but take it slow.
Like the other commenter said “take it slow”. I would be pretty cautious if I had your history too. I found this way too common when I started dating a few years back, I would be nice to a girl and she would act like she was waiting for the real me to come out. Frankly, given my own history and the history I was told by my dating partners, I understand how hard it is to regain the ability to trust people.
My advice is to take it very slow. There shouldn’t be a hurry to define your relationship this early on. Be honest about your trust issues and ask him to understand.. If he can’t, then you might have your answer about him and if he can, you might have a future to look forward too