My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years. Due to past relationships, I have a very insecure attachment style and get very anxious/overanalyze a lot of things, and I have communicated this to my partner who does a great job of trying to meet my needs when I need security (ex-he will send me updates when hes out on the weekends and will even FaceTime me with his friends so they can say hi.)
Last night, I received an anonymous DM from an account with no profile picture/followers/following (I think it was made with the intent of just messaging me and had no name whatsoever attached to it). The DM basically accused my boyfriend of cheating on me but did not say anything else or attach an identity/evidence, so I don’t really know what to think.
Would you believe an anonymous DM? What would you do?
TLDR; got an anon dm that my boyfriend is cheating on me. Do I ignore it or believe it?
9 comments
Before jumping to any conclusions, they need to come at me with concrete evidence. They can’t say “your bf is cheating” and then provide no evidence.
I would take the anonymous message with a grain of salt. It could be someone messing with you or trying to cause problems in your relationship.
I mean, why would someone randomly reach out to you with that info if there wasn’t truth to it? Is there someone scheming to take your bf away from you?
Message back and ask for details/ proof.
Honestly though, a majority of folks aren’t going to go through all that trouble for a prank.
I would simply show my bf and study his reaction. Therefore it’s not accusatory, just like, hey look a what someone sent me. His reaction will tell a lot.
Without proof, I wouldn’t believe it. I’d show it to him and see how he’d react. He gets bonus points if he offers up his phone without asking.
> I have a very insecure attachment style and get very anxious/overanalyze a lot of things, and I have communicated this to my partner who does a great job of trying to meet my needs when I need security (ex-**he will send me updates when hes out on the weekends and will even FaceTime me with his friends so they can say hi**.)
I’m sorry, but this is really inappropriate. He should not have to do this. It’s veering into being very controlling.
Are you seeking help to resolve your anxiety?
Regarding the DM, if you’ve messaged and had no response, and if you’ve asked your BF and he has given a plausible story then the balance of judgement does seem to fall in favour of your boyfriend.
I would ask for proof from the account.
If they can’t provide anything then it could be a scorned girl trying to break you two up for whatever reason. Or even a guy wanting you to be single.
Do I put more trust in a random DM or in my partner and relationship? If the answer is the former, time to bounce.