We’ve been dating since freshmen year of college and overall the relationship has been great. She’s not crazy and has been really good to me. We’ve obviously argued but nothing out of the ordinary. Her family is amazing and most of the time I enjoy spending time with her.
However, we have yet to have sex. We have tried multiple times but it always ends up with her never being wet enough. She is on birth control due to her irregular periods. This has happened more times than I can count. It has gotten to a point in which I don’t even want to have sex with her anymore. It has become extremely discouraging for my sexual confidence.
I by no means am a sex expert. We have tried lube, and I go down on her as well. Every time we use lube either it’s too cold or it irritates her vagina. I can even remember the last time literally talking to her and asking what feels good and what doesn’t when going down on her. In the end, it’s usually a make out session followed by a disappointing ending. She claims that “cuddling” shouldn’t always end up in sex, which I can agree with. But after 3.5 years I’m kind of over just cuddling.
Again, I’m not a sex master but I feel like it should’ve happened by now and I have taken the necessary steps to do the deed.
I feel as if sex is an integral part of a relationship. All my friends have sex with their girlfriends and I mean I’m 21 for Christ sake. Again, I just don’t even want to try anymore as we have tried so many times. We have talked in the past and she kind of puts the blame on me to do the work to get her more horny.
Most everything else in the relationship is good/okay. Should I break things off and go explore or work things out again?
Thanks for your time!
3 comments
Break up. This isn’t your fault. She should have seen a doctor ages ago. She doesn’t want to have a sexual relationship.
If you want to settle for a sexless “friendship” then stay. If you want a romantic intimate relationship, then leave.
This is where men get it wrong. Like men, there are things we need to get in the mood. Ours is the emotional aspect in this and then the physical. Most men, not all, want to immediately blame us for not being able to instantly be in the mood or it’s medical or something else.
You did the right thing by talking to her. You didn’t give us the context if what turns her on or it’s maybe something that makes you not want to have to come out of your comfort zone to do. Don’t be an idiot and have a “macho” moment and think that it’s uncool or whatever to step out of the norms. Other people don’t need to know you did something emotionally charged for her. That’s between y’all.
Porn gives off a bad perception of how a woman acts during sex. So I hope you’re not expecting her to have this overly gushing vagina for sex?! Because it doesn’t work like that.
Some women at that age don’t meet sexual peak until in their 30s or later. So it could be a number of things.
If you think that any of what I said has some truth or something you’d not be willing to do, then by all means keep it moving. You’re entitled to your feelings. Just don’t let your feelings run you, because then you’re in our territory.