I have been hanging out with this girl who is my coworker for 2 years now. We ended up hanging out alot and we became very close and good friends(bestfriends really) on a platonic level. But I never really wanted a relationship with her and always saw this friendship as platonic.
However, 2 months ago, she said she had a crush on me, and I thought she was cute and that we would fit very well as a couple. So i decided to kiss her, later that week we ended hooking up together, but I ended up not getting hard since i got nervous about screwing up the relationship(I had a previous encounter where this happened). The day after, she said that we should just be friends, and that she had some issue with an abusive dad that forced her mother to stay in marriage, that she couldnt commit to any serious relationship. But she was seeing a psychologist so she might be able to commit down the line. And blamed it on this, I chose to believe her even though apart of me thought it was because of me not being able to get hard.
But somehow we ended up hooking up again since we hang out so much and were cuddling, but again because of the situation I got nervous about the same thing and couldnt get hard. And the same thing happened again where she said she couldnt commit, and I blamed myself. This happened like 5 times now, and we ended up just being «friends» again.
But the problem here is, I feel I cant just be her friend again. Since now I feel I am her friend because Im not good enough to be a partner instead of being friend by choice. Even though she says it is her issue with being afraid of commitment. And she says she might be ready down the line. But I feel this friendship isnt the same anymore and a part of me wanna quit the job and loose contact with her since I feel like Im being “friendzoned” instead of being a friend by choice like before.
TL;DR!
I ended up hooking up with my bestfriend/coworker of 2 years, she initiated it, but also ended up breaking it up. Now I feel like I was tested as a partner potential but failed, so ended up being friendzoned, instead of just being a platonic friend by choice. What should I do?
2 comments
Yeah this is one of many reasons coworkers shouldn’t be potential partners.
Honestly, at this point you should step back completely and stop doing anything outside of work, and drain things back to just being coworkers. If you can manage that, yall might be ok to stay coworkers.
NTA, but also maybe see a doctor because maybe your issues are not nerves and are medical and couldn’t hurt to get that checked out in the event you meet someone you really like. Good luck to you.