I happen to have a face with unattractive features, so I try to keep a neutral expression so I don’t put off people. Logically, I can’t mantain that expression during sex and that’s why I tend to hide my face.
During the act itself it isn’t very difficult because I’m always kissing my bf or burying my face in his skin because I love how it feels. But when he touches me I have to use my hand or a pillow. He always tries to remove them and recently he has stopped touching my clit at all except for when we make love.
I think is annoyed with me, but he has to understand that I need to keep my face in control or I will look hideous. Any advice?
12 comments
Communicate this with him?
>But when he touches me I have to use my hand or a pillow.
>I need to keep my face in control or I will look hideous.
You gotta stop doing that
He wants to see your face, he likes your face and it’s rewarding to him to see pleasure on it. If you’re hiding your face there’s much less payoff for him and frankly it sounds super awkward.
He hasn’t ‘refused’ from the situation you’ve outlined, he’s just stopped doing it.
You’ve explained your body dysmorphia and he could stand to be more supportive than ‘that’s bollocks’ but you really need to get therapy. This isn’t healthy.
You don’t get to decide who thinks you’re attractive or not coz ya know, it’s their choice and their preference or opinion. How you feel about yourself clearly needs professional work abs help. Trust that your bf wants to see you, he wouldn’t make moves to do so otherwise.
It makes me sad that in 2023 women still think they have to look perfect at all times. This man is with you, finds you attractive, wants to make you happy, loves your silly faces your funny faces your happy faces and your cum faces!
I imagine he likes your face if he is your boyfriend. Sex isn’t a time to be self conscious, part of the beauty of sex is letting go of everything and just focusing on yours and each others pleasure. There’s a vulnerability in it. That’s part of the intimacy.
OP it sounds like you should get therapy for your insecurities. Your boyfriend sees your face all the time and clearly loves it. Plus, men like too see our expressions during sex. I used to HATE my smile and avoid letting people see it but that made me miserable. Now I don’t really care what anyone thinks. We ALL have insecurities. Learn to love your flaws because you were created perfectly.
I’d suggest therapy, or maybe just maybe, put your hand down and see how he reacts. You may be surprised how turned on he gets and it’ll boost your confidence. You got this.
If he likes you enough to fuck you he probably doesn’t care what you look like when you cum. By hiding your face you’re robbing him of intimacy. Great sex is about being vulnerable with your partner and letting them experience you in all your glory (and in ways others don’t get to)..
I think you need to work through your issues surrounding how you feel about yourself. I totally get the feeling of not wanting to look bad especially during sex, but he wants to see you. The reaction on your face is a huge turn on for me . I used to hide it and now I don’t and when I’m with partners and they watch my face, they’re audibly way more turned on.
My heart hurts for you that you feel you need to keep a neutral face at all. We’re made for expressions and use of our faces, don’t hide it. He knows what you looks like and he clearly cares about you and finds you attractive.
As someone who just started going to therapy for having similar opinions of myself….you really need to stop worrying about what you look like to other people. Your partner wouldn’t have sex with you if they didn’t like the way you looked.
He finds you very attractive
Try to find comfort in his actions. He wants to see you. He wants to be with you. He is showing you by his actions….whatever issue you have with yourself…it’s not a problem.
Try to work on that perspective…..