My husband was working in fast food and his shifts ended between 7 and 10 at night. He does not have a license so would ride the bus to work (I work an office job 8-5) and I would pick him up in the evening. It was rough when he got off late as we have a 3 yo that I would have to take with me. We barely got to see each other and he was only working 3-6 hour shifts. The minimal hours caused issues financially, but I would also get frustrated since he would be home alone all day (3 yo is in daycare full time) and would just sit around and play video games. No cleaning, no meal prep, nothing. I was working full time, doing almost 100% of the parenting, and all of the household things. I am taking college classes online and had to manage that as well.
Due to these issues and the toxic work environment he decided to look for another job. Together we discussed that he should look for something with daytime hours so we could have time together and it would make things easier all around. We were happy when he got hired at a grocery store; the shifts varied but the latest he would get off was 8pm.
Then last week the owner offered him a different position that would mean a pay raise of 50 cents per hour- he is currently making minimum wage- for less work. However, this would also result in his hours being changed to 2-11. Without consulting me he immediately accepted the position. There’s no way I’m staying up that late and keeping our 3 yo up that late to pick him up. We live in a rural area and busses stop running at 7, no Uber or anything like that, just an expensive taxi service with long wait times. Too far away to walk. He will have to try to get rides from co-workers or pay for the taxi. I’ll be back to doing all of the parenting and house work and will only see him 2 days a week, likely only for a few hours since I’m sure he will be sleeping in late on his days off. He’s excited because he likes the people he will work with better (they’re mostly guys around his age with similar interests) and prefers working nights. I’ve been trying to be supportive, but today is his first day in the new position and I can’t help but feel angry. Am I wrong for being upset that he accepted the job?
4 comments
Electric Bicycle.
It seems like he doesn’t prioritize you and the family you both have created and he needs a reality check. There is no way in hell I’d bring my toddler out at that hour to pick him up and that extra .50 per hour he’ll be making will vanish when he has to pay for rides. I’d have a talk with him and tell him he needs to find a new job with better hours to accommodate your lives and help with finances period, end of story. He also needs to pick up the slack at home and act like a partner, period, end of story. The fact that he’s home & you still need to send your child to full time daycare is pretty unacceptable to me. If I were you OP, I’d try to make this a turning point for some positive changes in your marriage, sometimes you have to be tough and stand your ground.
I have to ask what is it about this person you thought was a good marriage prospect?
He’s inconsiderate in so many ways