My girlfriend of 5 years sold her car to my coworker two weeks ago. 3 days later, the clutch goes and needs to be replaced.
Before the sale, my girlfriend’s car had been in the shop for 5 months waiting on a part. The part was fixed, the shop test drove it afterwards. Next my coworker test drove it, then my girlfriend drove it. There were no issues at any time during the 3 test drives. My coworker wanted my girlfriend to split the repair halfway but I suggested that we split it 3 ways because of how expensive the fix would be, and it’s the right thing to do for us to help fix it.
My girlfriend was okay with the idea at first but as of today she no longer wants to help my coworker at all, and is offended that I am not taking her side by saying that it’s the morally right thing to do to help, even though it’s not our fault and the car doesn’t belong to her anymore.
I’m willing to pony up half of what the repair will cost, but I’m in such a tight pickle that I’m not sure my girlfriend will be so understanding as to why I’m still helping, and she might leave me in frustration. My girlfriend has never had a morality issue like this, and always likes to do the right thing.
Lately, her controlling dad has been whispering in her ear that she shouldn’t pay, among other things that are causing issues in our relationship.
Any advice is welcome.
TL:DR Girlfriend sold her car to my coworker, the clutch failed after a few days, I want to help as it’s morally right but my girlfriend doesn’t feel the same way.
33 comments
This all really depends on how much did the coworker pay for the car and if it was “as seen” or not. Need a tad more info here.
It is not morally right for you or your girlfriend to pay.
It’s *nice*. But not morally right. Unless that was part of the agreement in the sale, and it typically isn’t, handshake deals are typically ‘as is’ kinds of things.
It can affect your reputation and such, but again, ‘morals’ don’t play into this. At least, not universal morals. *Your* morals might. But those are your morals, not everyone else’s, not hers.
It sounds like the coworker who bought the car already knew it had recently been in the shop for a while, hence all the test drives. And if your girlfriend has some reason she doesn’t want to help, like, not really being able to afford to, or it being a major imposition to do so, then fair’s fair and the deal is done and she doesn’t owe anything. No warranty or service contract was offered.
That said, what you do with your money is up to you. If your girlfriend is willing to leave you because you spent some of your own money to do a nice thing, is that a girlfriend you want to keep?
Stop trying to make her do anything, she’s a grown woman and can make her choices. You do you. And then another “do you want to keep her” question is whether you want to be with someone that can be ‘not-nice’ like this.
It is important to stay on good terms with coworkers. Not just with the one girl, but for your reputation with other people there, and office politics.
For this reason it is an important business investment for you, regardless of who pays. If your gf won’t help you come up with half the payment, then do it yourself. That will also put her father in his place, by you being the bigger guy.
If it was a used car lot, or some stranger that bought the car that is one thing. But in this case it is someone you know and have to work with and you are in the middle of the deal, so it’s a different situation.
Car is sold and you in no way tried to defraud her. Not your problem.
Cars are sold as is. Yeah I’m sure you feel bad for this happening to your coworker but it’s not your responsibility anymore and unless there was an agreement prior to the sale then you and your gf are not liable or obligated to pay for any repairs. I personally would not pay for it.
You (nor gf) have no obligation to pay for the clutch. It fucking sucks it gave out, but unless she knew about it, it’s a tough titties kinda sitch.
You should never sell something like a car to a mate etc – it gives an implied warranty. Bad idea.
You don’t have to pay, it’s not a case of morality, everyone knows when you buy a car you have to do your due diligence which involves having a mechanic check it out. Unless you gave your coworker assurances that it had been repaired and she felt she didn’t need to…but it’s still her responsibility.
You didn’t sell it to a stranger so I think it depends solely on your work environment and what impact this will have on you, if any, because I can imagine it could get messy (another reason why your coworker should have checked it out)
Your co-worker can tell her he will be taking her to court.
You have now seen she has very poor morals, is this a person you want to be with?
It’s a slippery slope here. It’s buyer beware logic here. When do you draw the line in repairs- say it needs tires next?
If she just had the clutch worked on (not clear from your post) there is a good chance there is a warranty on parts and labor.
How good is the coworker with driving stick? What if she burnt out the clutch?
She doesn’t have to pay. It’s not standard for her to. Let’s be honest, you only want to bc it’s awkward at work now.
If I sold somebody my car and it was fine at point of sale, I’d laugh if they came looking for money because something broke later.. That’s the risk you take with used cars
OP, as everyone else has already said in the comments here, you are in the wrong. You may feel bad about it, but that does not make you correct.
My sister, aged 18, bought a used car that hadn’t been driven in a while. Two hours after she bought it, she was driving around to show it to friends and the fuel line split, it caught fire and burnt to the ground. It would have been nice if the previous owner had helped, but it wasn’t his car anymore so he had no obligation to.
Sucks for your co-worker, but not your girlfriends problem. If she pays for the clutch and something else goes wrong unexpectedly next week, would the co-worker expect your gf to pay for that too? Where do you draw the line?
>> Lately, her controlling dad has been whispering in her ear that she shouldn’t pay, among other things that are causing issues in our relationship.
He might be controlling but on this one, I’m with him. This is a sound advice.
Used cars are sold as is. Not her problem and all his problem. I wouldn’t give them anything. They are supposed to get the car checked before buying, if they didn’t that’s their own fault
Are you serious? Used cars are sold AS IS. Head over to r/askcarsales and present your scenario. They will school you quickly on how dumb this is.
What’s next? Your girlfriend should pay half of the next oil change because it was her car? She should pay to rotate half the tires?
Get real. She sold the car. The car belongs to the coworker. The coworker gets to learn a lesson about buying used vehicles without a mechanic checking them first.
Is the Dad actually controlling or only because you don’t agree with him?
You are not a seller that has to provide warranty on the sold item.
When the coworker bought the car it was fully working. Coworker bought it and the transaction is over you have no duty to pay for the fix.
Again you don’t have to provide warranty. In fact the shop where the car was fixed should provide warranty on the changed part so if it’s indeed the same issue with same part the shop should fix it under warranty if something like that exists in you country.
Once sold then any issues are the responsibility of the new owner. It Sucks, but that’s the risk taken by buying a used car. I got a car at 18 and the very next day something in the engine went and the car started smoking and spewing green liquid from under the hood, despite the fact that this made the car undrivable and I had only bought the car the day before, it was my responsibility to fix because the car belonged to me (and the sellers had no way of knowing that would happen). It sucked, I couldn’t afford the new parts and the car was basically junk. My mom bought a car from her coworker a few years ago for a few grand, he drops it off at her house and leaves, all seems well. She goes to move the car the next day and the car won’t start, and it never starts again, she was stuck with the repair bill if she wanted to fix it.
My point is, buying a car second hand is risky and you agree to that risk by going through with the sale. This is why most people don’t mix business and personal lives, if it goes wrong it can have adverse affects on your relationships. Next time sell to a stranger so you won’t have moral dillemas like this.
Your girlfriend shouldn’t pay for anything. The car was sold it’s not her problem and no one intentionally tried to defraud the other. It’s tough luck but it’s your co workers problem. This isn’t a morality or ethics issue…there is no obligation to pay for repairs in this situation.
Her father is not “controlling”. He’s looking out for her interests in a way you aren’t. I hope he’s also “whispering in her ear” about you. WTF dude? You care more about your coworker than your gf. Used cars are sold As Is.
How much of the car repair did you pay when she needed to fix something? You seem overly invested in this other woman. A point I hope her father is screaming in to her ear.
She should not have to pay. The car was sold as is. Her “controlling dad” seems to be actually protecting her interest by not allowing you to pressure her into fixing your coworker’s car.
honestly ive bought a few new cars and its the gamble of buying a used car. like i dont go back to the dealership or the person i bought it from and tell them to help pay. same would go for this situation
Your GF nor you have any obligation to pay for your coworker blowing out the clutch on her car.
A clutch is a consumable item that needs replaced periodically. Your 20yr old coworker may just suck at driving a manual and zorched the clutch. Your GF might have been able to drive it for years with no problem.
Tell the coworker to pound sand. She bought a used car. As is, how is, where is – if it breaks in half, your coworker is responsible for both halves.
This is the risk people take when buying used, especially private party user. Your GF has no obligation to help pay for the repairs. You can if you want to.
Calling her dad controlling is pretty fucked up just because he is smart and not letting her get screwed out of 2500 which is half the sale of the car. You don’t know if that co-worker ground down the gears and fucked it up. What the co-worker did after they got the car is their business. They should have had a mechanic put it over the pit and give it the all clear prior to purchase. The car was in full working order when sold. Stop being dumb and pressuring your girlfriend into paying other people’s bills.
You keep saying “morally” repeatedly to justify your position, but you’re using it incorrectly.
It would be immoral to sell the car knowing it had a bum clutch, and not informing the buyer.
A used car sale through a private owner has no guarantees, and no warranties, so unfortunately the buyer was unlucky.
What you mean to say is “I got put into a socially awkward position because the car my girlfriend sold my coworker crapped out, and my feelings of social discomfort with the situation is worth more to me than my girlfriend. So I’m trying to justify my lack of support for her by changing it from a luck issue to a morality issue.”
How about you STOP giving your girlfriend terrible financial advice? It’s not her responsibility. The car was in working order when she sold it.
If YOU feel guilty and want to placate your greedy friend, then YOU pay for the repairs.
I wouldn’t help either. The car was test driven 3 times w/o issue. Not my problem.
“Before the sale, my girlfriend’s car had been in the shop for 5 months waiting on a part. The part was fixed, the shop test drove it afterwards. Next my coworker test drove it, then my girlfriend drove it. There were no issues at any time during the 3 test drives.”
I mean sucks it’s happened but your gf isn’t liable in anyway she sold the car, expecting her to use her money to fix said car when at the time of purchase it was working and both parties drove it, and for months the mechanic had the car.
What if the clutch had gone out a week after the sale? A month? A year? At what point do you no longer have a “moral” (you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.) obligation to help?
I think it’s great if you want to help out your coworker in a tough time. You’re allowed to do that with your money and it’s an awesome feeling when you can do it, but neither you nor your girlfriend are under any obligation to help. If you had known about the issue it would have been a different story.