What’s an unspoken rule you have around your house that you’d mention only when broken?

14 comments

1. #1. Don’t talk about Fight Club

2. Making sure to lick the poop knife real nice n’ clean. Then make sure to stay fresh with a bleach and cocaine tincture!

3. Let me watch when you fuck my wife.

4. Always start with head first.

5. No one except for my wife or I is allowed to touch our bed. To be allowed to touch my bed is a great honor.

   I started that way in college when I’d walk in to people sitting on my bed, and it would bother me.

6. shut the god damned door when you’re using the bathroom or in the shower! gawd!! >.<

   22 years of marriage and this is STILL a thing 😛

7. Visitors not announced at least 3 days ahead won’t be allowed inside unless it’s an emergency. I need to mentally prepare for the fact someone will disturb my peace.

8. Toilet paper rolls waterfall style.

9. Don’t throw molotov’s off the balcony.

10. Cats sleep on the bed, couch is available.

11. Don’t leave dishes in the sink

    The dishwasher is within reach without even moving your feet

12. No sitting on the bed unless you live here or are wearing home clothes that have not been exposed to the outside world.

13. The pets have just as much right to the bed/couch as you do and if they were there first you can work around them or find another place.

14. You do not say no to mom, ever.

    Punishable by death.