So just for some context, I wanted to surprise him with a staycation for his birthday. I just told him that we will be meeting this Thursday but never tell him about what I had planned for him. He agreed. On that day itself, I told him my plan & he says he couldn’t make it as he needed to study & thought that we were only meeting for lunch. (He is in uni & he’s finals are about 3 weeks away) I had already booked & paid for the hotel with my own money, plus planned all the activities on that day. I did a lot of research on where to go & also booked the hotel nearest to his school so that it is easier for him to go school on Friday.
I’m not blaming him for prioritising his studies because exams isn’t far away but I’m just disappointed that he isn’t appreciative of what I did. Like he could just suggest a simple “I can meet you later after I try to do as much work as possible.” Or “I can hang out with you at the hotel room but I got to do my work ,okay?” WOULD BE SUFFICIENT. Or a more detailed explanation of why he really couldn’t make it. Then I can understand that he’s really busy & die die need to have 101% focus on Thursday. Now it seems like he couldn’t make it because he isn’t willing to take the inconvenient route. Like why couldn’t he study more this weekend? Or why couldn’t he bring his materials to the hotel to study?
& not only he rejected me, he didn’t show any signs of remorse & didn’t apologise at all. He even got alittle frustrated with me because of this.
What do y’all think about the situation?
6 comments
A vacation, even a short one that’s not far from home, isn’t really a good gift to surprise someone with. Did you ask if he could be free for the whole weekend, or at least find out if his schedule was flexible enough to accommodate the staycation? Honestly I’d be annoyed if my SO did something like this on the fly without checking with me first. It’s inconsiderate to assume someone will drop preexisting plans, especially important ones like studying.
This seems more like a communication/expectation misunderstanding than anything else.
I’d also be annoyed if I thought I was coming over for lunch and found out that it was going to be an overnight thing with activities all day.
From your standpoint, he could’ve made accommodations for your plans, and from his, you could’ve been more considerate by being upfront about the plan.
Did you ever actually specify how much time you’d need from him for your vacation plan? Or ask if that’s something hed like to do?
I think you should not have planned a staycation without talking with him. Of course his studies come first. I imagine he may be rethinking this relationship if you really have so little consideration for his time. This is 100% on you.
He’s 3 weeks from his finals, the stress level is going to be super high. Your gift is a lovely one but the timing is unfortunate. Not your fault, not his. Ask if there’s a single part of it that will fit in with his timetable (compromises from both sides) and work from there.
Leave him alone to his studies. Get busy with your friends or do you have projects that you have been putting off.