We haven’t been ok for a month now. He says he doesn’t seem to care to fix things anymore. We’re LDR for 3 years and engaged since August 2022.
In his last message he told me “The unfortunate truth of the matter is that if we knew each other back like we do now, we probably wouldn’t have made it past those initial conversations. We would probably be “hi hello” kind of friends and nothing more. Don’t you feel the same?”
This really hurt me as we’ve been together and spent a lot of time together whenever we meet. After being with me, that’s how he feels about me? I told him “After spending time with you, getting to know you, talking to you, doing things together, I don’t feel that way. It makes me really sad that you do but I respect it. I want you to be happy.”
He didn’t reply and a couple of days later, he said: “Hey, how are you? I keep writing messages and erasing them before I send. It’s not out of malice or wanting to cause pain. I want to talk to you, but I’m struggling to find anything to say, so I’m just introspecting until something feels right. Anyway, I hope all is well, and that medication isn’t still causing side effects.”
I just don’t know where we stand anymore and what to do or think. We were planning on getting married at the end of the year but he’s relocated for a new job. I trusted my whole life to him and agreed to move to the US after the wedding. I live, work and am based in Europe and he is in the US. Why is he being like this? He always runs away or shuts down during arguments even if it’s smaller things that I try to talk through and tell him I just want to solve the issue and move on asap, and not dwell on it.
Yesterday I messaged him asking whether he was ready to talk and he said: “Nothing has really changed here. If you have something you want to talk about, we can.”
I’m just feeling so emotionally exhausted with his behaviour, distance and lack of interest. 🙁
tldr: I don’t know where my relationship with me dismissive fiancé stands and whether I should wait for him to decide.
2 comments
He has told you he doesn’t think you should be together.
Stop texting him and move on with your life.
Sorry
I would’ve taken that as a breakup.