I have friends who know me for years, from when I was younger and when I was doing a lot more cringe worthy and stupid shit. However, while I am still friends with them, I can’t bring myself to be vulnerable in front of then.
I also have friends who only got know me more recently (1 year or so). Yet I can bring myself to be more vulnerable and open to them.
I guess I am slightly more matured now that I’m older, which explains why I am able to be vulnerable talking to my newer friends. What puzzles me is that I am still unable to do so with my older friends.
I’m not exactly sure why I feel this way.
Perhaps I am worrying about being judged by my older friends?
Or perhaps the type of friendship I formed when I was younger is not one where I can be vulnerable.
I really don’t know.
4 comments
I had a similar feeling when I was meeting new people. For me it was the fact that they are old friends, I spent so much time with them that I could gauge what they would say and how they would act while being vulnerable so there was no point to do it. With newer friends, you both are learning about each other and being vulnerable is a very quick way to really get to know someone, not people you’ve been friends with for 5+ years. It could be that you are using that as a way to speed up that process?
idkb’chu but me personally I like to test things with new people and I also would like people who can give outside opinions on things
Maybe it’s just the behavior that you’re used to with your old friends, you’re not used to being vulnerable with them and they aren’t used to it either. Sometimes it’s just easier to keep the same pattern you’ve had for years rather than changing it, if you start a more vulnerable pattern with a new friend you’ll probably be able to keep that pattern as well
For me it’s fear of being ghosted but also not having anyone to talk about my problems with theirs been so many times I’ve cried out I’ve made friends only for them to ghost me the moment I stop bottling up my baggage so now when it really gets to much and I need to talk i protect myself from those I care the most about by dumping these things on people who are less of a priority to me