I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and for the past year I’ve had a lot of changes in my life and stressful situations, however I’ve been fine with getting myself off so I don’t think my sex drive has gone down from stress. But during this past year, me and my boyfriend have hardly had sex. I don’t know why but I just feel like I lost sexual attraction? I don’t feel like having sex with him and I don’t really get in the mood or turned on. I’ve never said this to him because how horrible is that to hear? No matter how I would say it, it would completely knock his confidence.
We’ve taken a break in our relationship because I wanted some space. I actually went to break up but he convinced me to just take a break. But I don’t have much hope that this break will do anything, I want to at least try. He’s made so many changes in the 2 weeks that we’ve been apart, all positive.
My question is though, is there any way to get that sexual attraction back? It’s a really important part for me in a relationship and I’d really like to give us another chance because he’s trying so hard and I would like to try as well, but this lack of attraction is really bugging me and I’d like to know if there’s a way to just ‘turn it back on’ or something
6 comments
For me personally this would be a giant neon sign illuminating that the relationship has come to an end and you’re staying together out of comfort and convenience.
It’s a tough spot, but there are people in much longer relationships still having a lot of sex with each other
getting yourself off = stress relief
You have to feel strong desire for another human (whether your boyfriend or someone else) for it to be a “drive”. Sounds like you’re just stressed and your brain needs to heal. Healthy food, gentle exercise, good sleep and quality time
Be honest and leave but don’t rip him off and take 1/ 2 of everything because YOU want to leave.
It your choice and your expenses not his.
Ask yourself what has changed, when did the attraction start to die off?
Does he fulfill your other needs, like emotional for instance?
There was a moment in time when you lost the attraction. You figure out what that was it may or may not help you get it back.
If you feel like you are done, be done … don’t lead this poor guy along giving him false hope. That will ruin him on a far deeper level.