I have zero social skills and pretty bad anxiety over talking to people. Whether in real life or even online. But I’m also now starting to feel very lonely and I just know sooner or later I’ll go mentally insane over lack of social interaction.
What can I do to treat this? I’ve been thinking about maybe talking to an online chatbot, just to ease myself into socializing. I’m not sure how much good it’ll do me. Obviously, I’ll need to eventually talk to real people. It’s just right now I can’t do this. Fuck, I can’t even look people in the eye. Years of school bullying have reduced me to a semi-feral vaguely human creature who can kinda do human things but just can’t interact with people.
Even if I wasn’t anxious to socialize, I wouldn’t even know what to talk about. I have no hobbies and no interests, nor any fun or interesting stories to tell. Not without lack of trying. I’ve tried getting into shit like art and various sports and even listening to music and watching movies. All of which bored the hell out of me or pissed me off.
All I can really think of to talk about is how shitty my school life was with being bullied and having no friends and how shitty my current life is working a dead-end job and living in a homeless shelter. I have literally nothing else going on in my life. I used to play video games, but stopped because it was becoming too I healthy for me. Meaning I have literally no hobbies or interests, because nothing else interests me.
I have tried therapy many times in the past, but I could never go anywhere with it. It’s just talking to some person about how your life sucks, and they give you advice which doesn’t work 9/10 times. And I’ve been through more than several therapists throughout my life. Either I’m horrifically unlucky, or therapy just sucks and ks overrated.
I even sometimes try talking to myself, but I just can’t say anything because I can’t think of anything to say. I have nothing to say about anything. Even if I did have things to say, no one ever seems to want to listen to me or treat me with any respect.