I’m a short guy (22M), and I finally asked this taller girl (24F) out.
We are in our second year of grad school, and she has very clearly flirted with me countless times over the last 2 years. I’ve always been attracted to her, but I’ve been scared to act on it bc I’ve never dated someone taller than me. The height difference is considerable but I wouldn’t say it’s astronomical.
After almost 2 years, I finally grew some balls and asked her out, and she said yes. I’ll be taking her to dinner in a few days.
I just wanted to hear about others’ experiences, whether it’s from a tall woman who’s dated or dating a short man, or vice versa. Although it seems she may be interested in me, I’m just having trouble with the “stigma” (if the stigma is even real).
I definitely don’t plan on bringing up the height thing unless she does lol. Please share your experience!
Edit: Reading these comments has made me feel a lot better. Guess it’s not as scary as it seems 🥲💪
PS: I’m about 5’5 give or take. I’d say she’s around 5’9-5’10.
28 comments
It’s not a thing unless you make it a thing. Don’t bring it up! Have a great time with her at dinner, you’ll be seated during dinner anyways so it doesn’t matter. If your height was an issue I doubt she would’ve agreed to the date in the first place.
Most of the women I’ve dated seriously have been taller than me (5’8”)
My only issue was other people making comments. I didn’t mind and she only commented on the height difference once or twice.
The stigma is nonsense. I’m 5’5, 5’6 on a good day. My ex of two years was 5’11.
Tried it once. Would definitely recommend if he personality is good.
The older I have gotten, the less I care. My last 3 boyfriends have been shorter. As long as they don’t throw a fit over my heels, I really don’t care. I prefer they be not insecure about it. I do remember being self conscious the first shorter guy I ever dated. I remember thinking, hmmm… just friends. But the end of the date I was so into his personality that I totally forgot. I haven’t had a problem since. I think it’s cute when they use it as a brag to their friends. “She’s like ‘model’ tall.”
I’m 5’9 and prefer 5’6-5.7 I’m female. I dated taller, I don’t really care tbh. If I really think about it, I say prefer shorter. But it’s the strong personality that I am attracted too!
As a woman over 6′, I can tell you that it’s not an issue until your insecurities make it an issue.
There’s never an issue unless people lie about their height, we all know how tall we are as a point of reference, so we can all tell if someone has added a few imaginary inches
I’ve always dated tallish girls who were my height at 5’9”. They didn’t seem to mind. It’s the ones who were like 5’4” who seemed to want a taller than me guy. Maybe they need the protection of a giant? I dunno
As long as you own it and don’t care it’s fine. But if it’s a major insecurity that you can’t get over, it’ll tank your relationship. I dated a guy who was like an inch or 2 shorter than me, which I did not mind. But he forbid me from wearing any shoes that would make me any taller than him. Whenever I’d go over to his house, he’d make me take my shoes off, and he’d wear cowboy boots so he could pretend to be taller. Really bizzare.
It’s not an issue unless you make it an issue.. she said yes to the date. She’s seen you in your person already she doesn’t care about the height clearly. Height only matters on online dating
Haven’t had a bad experience tbh. I’m 5’9/5’10 which is average but, have dated women of the same height or slightly taller before and it worked out fine. I think the biggest turnoff for women is if a man *makes* a huge deal about his height.
I’m 5’7”, I’ve dated a lot of women of varying heights and a good amount were taller. None of them ever cared because I didn’t care, charisma overtakes all.
I never understand the issue with heels, like if she’s taller than you what’s an inch or two more going to do lol.
I am 5’8.5. My last girlfriend was 6 foot, current one is 5’10 and I’ve mainly dated women 5’9 and above.
My experience is you’ll get a lot of looks. I don’t care. In my opinion, it makes you look great! Do not be intimidated but rather take it as a compliment. I love dating taller women. They’re fun, they don’t care about your height and they’re typically not judgmental. I had great relationships. Just make sure to have a nice pair of boots to wear when she wants to wear heels! As long as you’re confident and don’t care what people think, you will have a fulfilling relationship. Just make sure to continue to connect with your partner. All that matters is how you guys build a strong foundation, have healthy boundaries, communicate and continue to bond with her, you’ll be golden my friend. Good luck with the new relationship!!
Don’t make a big deal of it and be confident. I’m 5’11” and have no problem dating men much shorter that I am.
Tom Cruise went out with and married Katie Holmes and before that Nicole Kidman who are both taller than him. If it doesn’t bother her, I wouldn’t let it bother you. Unless you’re Michael Jordan or Shaquille O’Neal there will be taller women. My father in law was several inches shorter than his wife. They were married for over 50 years. Maybe because he sent her flowers once a week, haha.
She obviously has a thing for you, so don’t make the height issue a thing.
It’s the same as dating any other girl. Don’t think about it, height only matters to the insecure. You asked her out, she said yes. Have a good time getting to know each other. No reason to bring it up, you both know. Dwelling on it would only make this non issue an actual issue
I am a 6’3” woman and just matched with a guy who is 5’9 😀 the shortest dude I’ve been with was 5’6” and it didn’t matter one bit.
This girl basically chased you for two years straight, despite you apparently not being interested. I don’t think a lack of interest will be a problem here.
As a short king this thread is making me so hopeful 🥲😂
As a man who is 5’7 that dated a woman of 5’11
It fuckin’ rules.
She’s clearly into you, so relax and enjoy it!
I personally prefer guys taller than me, but I’m a shortie at 5’3 so that’s nearly all of them 😅
If she’s been flirting and said yes you’ve won her over with personality and I’m sure she finds you attractive, even if you are shorter.
Good luck and i hope it goes well for you!
As a 5’6″ guy I don’t care one bit if a girl is taller than me. However, I’ve not had any luck with women in general. Short women always want guys taller than me, women my height don’t want to be with me because “they can’t wear heels, it would be weird” and taller women don’t even act like I exist 😂 Y’all are lucky that your parts of the world don’t seem to care. Just enjoy it.
My husband is 5’6”ish and I am 5’9”. When I wear heels I tower over him. Never been an issue for either one of us. He actually encourages me to wear heels because he thinks they look nice. Never felt that others were judging or stigmatizing… in fact, people always say what a good looking couple we are when we are out together. I’m sure some people think it’s weird, but I don’t think that opinion is nearly as popular as you think it would be. Not every man is Tom Cruise.
Since you have interacted IRL, she is well aware of your height differential. If it bothered her, I doubt she would have agreed to go out with you. I’d say just be confident, don’t make it a thing, and I doubt it will be an issue for anyone.
My husband is 5’7 and I’m just about 6’. I was insecure about my height with previous guys I dated but he is secure enough in his height that he makes me feel great about mine. It’s never been an issue in our relationship and I rarely notice it unless I’m wearing heels and then I think it’s cute 😁😁
I’m 5’5″ (24M) and my confidence was suppressed by my parents thru-out growing up. There were other issues too but all-in-all I was very depressed and lacked confidence coz of my height. ~2 yrs of therapy resolved all traumas caused by my parents. Now I find myself too worthy to be around people like my parents (inc. potential dates). Nothing bad bout these folks, just that they’re self-doubting and ain’t confident in their own skin – I’m not so, not anymore. My work and hobbies have given me enough confidence to think bout and attract well-spoken folks who think bout the same things as my work & hobbies.
I work in stocks/finance so I attract a lot of emotionally-disciplined women from there – I love’em.
I do a lot of drumming and live in a bohemian neighborhood for the same reason hence attracting a lot of emotionally-not-so-disciplined goth women – I love’em.
Occasionally, 1 or 2 of’em might’ve said something about my height and I politely told’em how I’m happy with who I am and think more about things I can control e.g. exercise, weights, cardio etc. No negging, no shrugging – I simply narrate the same thing that I wrote here about my parents and therapy. Surprisingly, they appreciate me being honest with’em about it.
Hope that helps.
Cheers