About 1.5 years ago I posted on this sub about my relationship looking for some guidance. It was obviously an abusive situation and it was going to a bad place very fast. I had about 50 comments telling me how bad the situation was, I should leave and giving me resources to do so.

I just want to say, I left with the advice of internet strangers in my back pocket and life has been so wonderful since then. I got my own apartment, got the pets I’ve always wanted, looking at a career change, and I’m SO DARN HAPPY Y’ALL!

I want to shout out all the people in this sub that do the work to help people in bad situations. I try to give back and help with advice when I see opportunities to do so.

Sometimes when you’re deep into an abusive situation you truly cannot see how bad things are and need people’s feedback. I look forward to having a healthy happy relationship in the future.

Edit to add: Thank you all for the encouraging words. This support really heals something in my heart. I hope anyone that is/has been in a similar situation sees the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a journey that no one should have to do alone.

27 comments

  3. This is why I’m never concerned that advising someone in your situation to break away from their partner will result in them making the wrong decision and wantonly “throwing away” a decent marriage. No one outside opinion can *make* you leave your spouse—but outsiders can provide perspective that helps *you* make a decision that is right for you. I’m so happy this is what happened for you!

  4. This makes me so happy! There is so much life outside of being with someone who treats you like shit and makes you unhappy. Congratulations!

  7. Congratulations on this new chapter in your life! I hope its full of many wonderful and happy memories for you!

  9. As a woman that also went through this, congratulations on getting out!!!!

    I’m proud of you, excited for you, and thrilled that you’re living the life you deserve and have happiness and freedom!!!! And I hope you’re proud of yourself!!!!

    ♥️♥️♥️

  17. Sometimes it really takes an outsider to show you how mistreated you are.

    Last year, I had a friend who I’d barely known 3 months. One night, her exbf texted her “fuck you” over something trivial. And I was **FLOORED**. She didn’t think it was a big deal, but I was like “girl, I have not dated winners, I’ll be the first to admit. But I can tell you with 100% confidence, not one of them has told me ‘fuck you.’ and I’ve never said it to them, not once in my life.” In fact – I’ve never heard it from anyone – ever – or said it to anyone – ever – unless it was a joke.

    I’m not like – the bastion of self-respect or healthy relationships or anything. But something that was so blasé for her was fucking *mindblowing* to me. It took my reaction for her to – for the first time – question that treatment. I was just – essentially – a stranger. But sometimes those people are your biggest influences, you know? It’s happened to me plenty of times, as well. You don’t know how much people in your life have set the bar for you, until you see it through someone else’s eyes, you know?

  18. Damm. What a delightful and unexpected bit of good news. Thanks for giving us an update.

  20. Now this sub will have even more people suggesting “get out” for the smallest of reasons.

  21. I am so happy for you. It took so much courage to do that, but you chose a healthier life for yourself. Good for you!

  23. Wow what a coincidence. I remember you from a cinnamon allergy post last year. Are you still reacting to cinnamon? I sure am.

    Congrats on your wonderful life without a narcissist harming you. Keep up the good work!

  24. This is the best update I’ve read all year. Fwiw this internet stranger is proud of you. I know too well how difficult it is.

  27. Congratulations! I know how hard it is to leave an abusive relationship. I also know how taking random peoples advice on the internet when it comes to abusive relationship can change your life for good. It took talking to one person on the internet to realize how messed up my situation was and I was done after 7 years, many many MANY people getting me to leave, spilling my guts out and getting advice was what ended my ex. I am now living a completely different life. The best part of it all is that the person who gave me the advice lived an hour away and we ended up meeting up and we are now married. The light is at the end and it only shines brighter i look back on my past and laugh that I was with someone so beneath me. I took a lot of crap only to find a better life with someone who just took the time to listen.

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