They only periodically kick the ball with the foot, and it is an oblong dual-pointed object as opposed to a properly spherical ball. (P’raps we might call it ‘hand egg’?) They actually throw it with their hands and then catch it, again with their hands, and then pounce upon one another like hooligans in a pub brawl.
They claim to have gotten the idea from the Home Isles, via a variant on football called ‘rugby’ that I have heard is popular with certain lads in England. But surely this ‘rugby’ would be a gentlemanly pursuit (as it is played at England’s finest public schools), and nothing at all like the beastly displays I have witnessed on the colonial pitches. What can be done?
5 comments
Make it less boring.
Proper football will never dispace handegg because Americans are nothing more than mindless drones who need instant gratification to find meaning in their pathetic lives. In their minds if a game doesn’t have at least 50 points per game it is “boring,” hence why they are unable to comprehend why most people would watch a 2-1 proper footie game that requires them to delay gratification (*gasp the HORROR) for a better payoff long term.
A good 1-0 game will always, 10/10 be better than some 80-78 baskethoop game where points effectively mean nothing, or some 34-27 handegg game that people laughably compare to chess when its nothing more than a poor and blind mans rugby. And going off that baseball is just a more boring version of cricket as well.
Same point as how many rubes can’t fathom the concept of ties. Same deal as before, ties are perfectly natural but instant gratification Americans simply demand a winner right away, but what can you expect from a culture that is all about instant gratification. And about being fat, I mean have you seen how disgustingly overweight some of their “professional athletes” are LMAO.
Rule Britannia, 1 World Cup means more than all of your fake fraudulent baskethoop and hockey Olympic medals combined, the Premier League is superior in every possible way to the National Handball League, and Bobby Moore alone has more talent and class then every American athlete that has ever lived.
Name Meagan Markle as Queen and Harry as Prince Consort. That will solve a lot of US-Britain issues.
BTW, how do you solve the egg shaped ball issue in Rugby?
Why are people even playing ball games on foot.
We all know that all proper games are played on horseback.
Football??? Are people too poor to afford horses??
The hand egg, as you have dubbed it, is actually the Rugby ball. The Football is more akin to a “hand almond” due to the conical nature of the ends and its brown color(notice the lack of the superfluous “u” in my spelling). If you’re going to insult us, at least be accurate in your pedestrian attempts at name calling.