I broke up with my boyfriend about two month ago. We meet on tinder and he swept me off my feet and we moved in very quickly. It was a highly toxic hellscape after that for two years. Constant ups and downs, devaluing me and using me monetarily.
That being said I’m back in the dating game and it’s been so hard. Before my previous relationship I was a lot more open but I’ve definitely become more guarded. It hasn’t helped that the two guys I did match with on dating apps and was interested in turned out to have major flags before even getting to the date.
One I happened to have a mutual friend who dated him actually who filled me in on alcoholism and love bombing. Also figured out he had already lied to me about major things. The other wanted to go bar hopping all night even though I said explicitly I want long term and was not interested in hook ups.
It’s so hard because I’m fighting with myself to not just close everything out because I really want a family. It just feels like I have to go through so much hurt to do that.. its made me dread dating honestly.
For me dating people I know isn’t really an option. I work virtually, all my friends are coupled and I don’t have a huge social media presence.
Is anyone else experiencing this? Any suggestions on how to push through / light at the end of the tunnel?
2 comments
First of all you need to process what ever the hell went on before. We all carry some baggage that’s life but seriously process what went on. Don’t force yourself to date because you want a family. Take your time make friends do things you enjoy with friends and you should find some good people along the way. Not saying this is the case for everyone but I’m pretty sure most of the people I met online had personality disorders.
I think you also need to learn that it’s ok to be single and if you end up single 4ever then that’s OK to.
Maybe take a bit more time to he single work on anything you might need to work on.
When you’re ready to date again, be upfront about what you want and what your intentions are.
In the end, learn what makes you happy regardless if you’re with someone or not and stick with that.