Female friend (33M) and I (35M) got very close over the past year, insane chemistry, get along so well and both feel like we’ve known each other for ever. It’s like we are practically made for each other.
We both work at same place and go to the gym together, that’s how we met. We would spend hours together everyday and text all the time. Her boyfriend knows about me but has no idea how close we actually are.
Her boyfriend’s been with her for over a decade but hasn’t proposed yet.
I developed feelings for her and told her that one night and I told her due to those feelings I would need to distance myself from her.
I got rejected by the typical I’m happy in my relationship and like you a lot as a person.
I don’t believe her and neither do her two female friends I’ve spoken to. Both believe she’s in denial about her feelings about me.
Am I the one that’s in denial here? What she says and how she acts especially in person do not match.
I’ve been very distant with her lately and basically decided to cut her off out of my life out of respect for myself. I can tell she’s really upset and her friends tell me she’s devastated. She’s taken drastic measures due to this and has switched jobs and gyms. She sent me a message thanking me for everything I’ve done for her (I helped her a ton with things in her life like personal growth etc.) and that she’ll be forever grateful with a heart emoji.
To me this sounds like a goodbye, and likely I won’t see her again for a long time if forever?
I guess what I’m asking, is she upset she’s losing me as a friend or do you think it’s because she’s conflicted with her feelings towards me?
TLDR: Is she upset she’s losing me as a friend or is it because she’s conflicted with her feelings towards me?
– if anyone’s interested you can go to my profile and see my previous two posts, I go into a lot more detail.
3 comments
>I guess what I’m asking, is she upset she’s losing me as a friend or do you think it’s because she’s conflicted with her feelings towards me?
Does this really matter? You have feelings for her, but do you think is a good idea to have a relationship with this girl? If you try to still be friends she’s going to continue to use you as her emotional support not as a real friend and if you try a romantic relationship… is really a good idea to have a relationship with someone you already know is totally ok with cheating and that her friends are ok with her cheating?
>I’ve been very distant with her lately and basically decided to cut her off out of my life out of respect for myself.
What you are doing is really of low character. Basically you are mad she doesn’t want more and so you are taking away your friendship, which is sinister and cowardly. It’s not preserving your respect. It shows you to be unable to deal with unrequited emotion.
She probably is upset with losing you but bravo to her for moving on. She should not give you the time of day.
I think she’s a mess. You both have been having a relationship very close to an emotional affair. She probably knows this and for the moment she’s doing everything to save her relationship with her bf. That’s all you know.