Im not talking about lonely as in single. Im talking about loneliness overall.
I’m not really that focused on getting a gf, but I wish I had friends too. Actual solid friends. My best wish in terms of a social life is to have a female best friend. I really wish I had one. Also, im 16 and in grade 11.
I dont need a ton of friends. I dont want to be popular. I just need a small group of really good friends, or even 1 best friend. I never had a best friend in my whole life so far. I never went on a night out with friends before either. I have friends in school and acquaintances, but after school, I have no life. When school isnt in session, I have no social life at all. I dont even have any friends I could call or anything. I realize that I’m actually not that important to anyone. Im kinda just there. They just think of me as some guy they can talk to, but Im not actually important to anyone.
My routine is going to school, and going home. Thats about it. When I get my gym membership, then I’ll put gym in it. But thats kinda all I do. When school isnt in session, I just stay home feeling sad, empty and bored. I got lonely to the point where I literally wanted to go out to a fastfood place just to talk to someone or make a friend. Well, I went there, had small talk with 2 guys in the line but that was about it. What was I expecting? Its a fastfood place. You eat, and you leave. Thats what I did, and that was it. Once, for extra classes, I dressed up in my favorite outfit and I felt good. But not a single person even said anything to me, and I felt like no one cared. I made sure to spend my money on a new shirt(im frugal, so I dont like spending. But I still did it anyways so I can maybe get friends) and it seemed like no one really cared.
The people who say “you dont need friends” are probably just people who either have friends themselves, or probably already had best friends and had alot of fun with them on night outs. Friends really are important. They can make school more bearable. People put on their story about how theyre grateful for their friends, how they miss their bff, or how their friends made school better. Then I look back on myself, and I realized that I dont have a single friend that actually wants to hang out with me outside of school.
Overall, I feel so terrible when people, especially older people giving ‘advice’ and talking about enjoying your youth, make friends and all of that, when I havent been doing that, and I feel bad because it feels like Im wasting my teenage years.
Like really, that advice really hurts. Also, its the norm to have friends, so people look at a teenager and just assumes they have friends. The thing is, all of their advice like staying away from parties, popular people etc is what im already doing. I dont need to be surrounded by terrible people, and Im not like other teenagers who love drama and very immature. I dont get the hype for sex either. Like bro, youre not even 18 yet. These people giving advice just base things off of stereotypes and it pisses me off. It just makes me feel more lonely because adults keep saying “enjoy your teenage years” BUT I CANT. Not everyone has a picture perfect highschool experience, like oh my gosh
I have senior year left, so hopefully its good. But right now, school has been so stressful and busy. But hey, at least im prepared for college since my productivity stamina is good.
2 comments
I’m way older than you are. I understand your point of view. I am definitely of the “you don’t need friends” mindset and don’t really have any myself at this point. But I can see how it would be hurtful for a young person to not have any, especially watching everyone else have friends.
Have you been to r/lonely? There does seem to be quite a few relationship/dating struggle posts there, but it’s another sub where a lot of people would understand you. Also, have you thought of looking for penpals on Reddit? That’s what I do sometimes. Friendship has never been beneficial to me (it always seemed like I was the one giving all the time), but I do like having conversations about shared interests and intellectual conversations with people. r/MakeNewFriendsHere was crap when I used it, but there are other subs like r/penpals.
I totally get you tho. I’m almost 23 and It sucks not having social life and constantly feeling like you have wasted your youth. I kinda accepted my fate as someone who doesn’t have the coolest teenage life. y y but please do remember that we will always have opportunity to make friends and enjoy life no matter what ages.
Im also on your side on not agreeing with the whole ‘you don’t need friends’, of course, if a person feel contain in solitude then they shouldn’t feel pressured to fit in but I do believe most ppl want company of friends and the sense of community. We are social animals after all. So don’t think you are needy or not “independent” enough for wanting to have more friends.
Lastly, I think maybe you can try asking your freinds from school to hang out more. I’m quite sure they will be pretty open to it since they enjoy your presence enough to talk to you at school.