Why does it seem like every other woman can easily orgasm?

7 comments

1. A lot of women need the clit stimulation, its more rare to be able to orgasm purely from penetration without any other help. And a lot of the time its due to the mental side of it, not because penetration alone actually gets you there itself.

   Its also very normal and very common to only orgasm with the help of a vibrator and it doesnt mean you’ve done anything wrong or anything. Some people just need that type of stimulation. And there is nothing to be ashamed of or upset about. (But yes, being high could have been why it was easier in the past. It can make you more sensitive- but also note the clit stimulation you had anyway).

   Its just how your body works. And that’s okay. And that’s normal. Otherwise why would vibrators even exist?

   And just because your friends orgasm every time during sex, 1. Doesnt mean its true. And 2. Doesnt mean they arent using things to help them get there.

   The only thing you can really try is to have a night purely about you, and have your partner (or yourself) go slowly and relax you and you stop thinking or pressuring yourself about it and see if that gets anywhere. Pressuring yourself or thinking the goal is to orgasm only leads to disappointment and frustration. Because orgasming shouldn’t be the goal when having sex with someone you love.

   But its not the end of the world if it doesnt work. And it doesnt mean anything is wrong if you cant do it. Its entirely normal.

2. Depends on the woman

3. Admittedly I am male, but I am heterosexual, so I have experienced women in a sexual setting and I can tell you that no, EVERY woman cannot easily orgasm – in fact, quite a lot of them have trouble orgasming; look over this forum alone, and you’ll see HUNDREDS of posts from women who have trouble orgasming.

   What you are doing is taking your friends’ stories, which is a small sample size and taking that to represent a much larger population. You need to not do that, because it’s the same mentality that men often say when they say they expect “x” from their current partner because their ex did the same thing and they assumed that meant that all women/men did it. The answer is always “that was them, this is your current partner, they are not the same person”. I will also say that unless you have first-hand experience SEEING your friends having sex, there is no way of knowing if they are telling the truth or exaggerating to try to “one up” you – and it seems to be working as it is affecting your self-esteem. IGNORE THEM. Their sex lives DO. NOT. MATTER. WITH. REGARD. TO. YOURS. Because you are not having sex with THEM.

   Now onto your situation – any or all of the factors you mention could be the reason/contributing to the current disconnect – whether you are too used to your vibrator (similar to men who have “death grip”, you may be too used to your vibe so your mind only associates orgasm with the vibration as opposed to other kinds of touch), when you say you don’t smoke any more, if you mean weed as opposed to cigarettes, your dulled senses when high might have helped you get there, which means you are now more aware of yourself and as a result are probably too “in your head” so you need to learn to associate your orgasm with your partner. Ask yourself this: when you are alone and can orgasm, what are you doing? How are you touching yourself? What are you thinking about? The biggest sexual organ is the brain after all – and if the things you were smoking were indeed not just cigarettes, then it is likely your orgasm was possible because your brain was more relaxed and open to sensation as opposed to constantly thinking what to do next. If you can figure out what you actually enjoy you can then teach your partner how to do it. If he’s the wonderful person you say he is, he will love the fact that he can learn to please you in bed.

4. When my wife and I have sex I always give her the first orgasm with her vibrator. It gives her the most intense orgasm. She sometimes will cum from me.

   Nothing wrong with incorporating what makes her feel good into lovemaking. I just like her to be happy❤️

5. I had a similar issue and could only cum by clit stimulation. Only recently was my partner able to make me orgasm and cum by penetration. I take longer to “warm up” and this particular event happened after a long build up. Maybe this is the case for you? Definitely try a longer foreplay session and start the flirting and teasing long before you have sex to see if it changes anything!

6. I had the same problem. I threw mine away and just used my hands. After awhile it began to work. But it still has to be clit stimulation! Whether it’s tongue or fingers. But yes you honestly have to go cold-turkey, and your body will adapt

7. your body is only associating orgasms with massive amounts of sensation. smoking weird really amplifies the sensation , similar to a vibe . Take a hiatus on the vibe .