I (late 20s male) have a pretty good life, good home, chill job, some good friends, live in a great small town, but the dating pool is not great here and I have had next to no luck finding a significant other. Everything else in my life is going ok, but this has been bothering me for some time. Does it make sense to move to a bigger city for this one reason?
30 comments
Sure why not
Not really., You have people who live in a bigger city and barely find a match over there themselves. So what makes your small town different from there?
No I don’t think it’s crazy to move to widen your dating options. Do you simply feel like there are not enough people? Or perhaps your values/interests don’t generally align with those in your local area? Perhaps consider what your current challenges are before you make a big decision like moving. Just because you move to a bigger city doesn’t mean that your dating life will improve as that can come with its own set of challenges.
if you can find a way to keep your lifestyle in a bigger city, then, yeah, sure. but let’s not reinvent the wheel for some pussy, dawg.
Most people marry elsewhere and move back if they like it there.
This quote comes to mind:
“Wherever you go, there you are”
Careful that you’re not trying to run away from your own intimacy issues or other issues that might be putting you or others off.
Not necessarily, but keep in mind that the biggest US cities tend to be majority male, so the dating scene kinda sucks everywhere.
Yes I left a small town for big city and my dating went up , but be aware of more competition, and bigger city expenses
You can leave for any reason you want. It’s your life.
I think everyone should try city life for a bit. It’s good enough reason. Also more job opportunities in cities
Only you know, but do it for yourself not for others, you live for yourself
Depends on why you say “it isn’t great”. If it’s because you’ve burned your bridges and every girl in your small town thinks you’re a douche, then absolutely, nice to a bigger city so the women of that area can discover what a douche you are as well.
But if it’s simply because you can’t throw a stick without hitting someone the girl you’re dating slept with already and this makes you uncomfortable, then maybe a change of venue would benefit you.
Sorry but you’re not making this easy with the whole “the dating pool is not great here” and not giving any specific examples like more men than women, lack of education, religious differences, lots of single mothers, etc.
Moving can always be an option but it isn’t a guaranteed fix.
No. In fact it’s a great strategy. Fish where the fishing is good.
Yea, it’s reasonable. Yet, if you don’t put effort into yourself, you can’t except huge changes.
Of course not….You are only young once…its definitely worth it in that sense
Especially if you want to find someone thats comparable to you….I would do it in a heartbeat
Once you find a partner…..having that second paycheck…puts both of you in a better position for life in general
Good luck and get moving!!!
maybe. have you considered increasing the distance covered in your dating apps?
remember when you move somewhere else you might also lose some good friends, lose the job etc.
And it doesnt garentee a partner
It isn’t crazy. Moving to larger city could definitely help with it.
I’m from rather small village and here the amount of dating opportunities is very low. I finally had luck in love when I temporarily moved to city for studies at uni.
If you like the place where you live now, temporary moving could be good solution, and you can return back later with your new significant other
If you are on apps, you can try locating to your target bigger cities and see the results first.
I think there’s some legitimacy to this, bigger pools means more diverse sets of people and that can have a positive impact in dating life if you get out there.
There’s something to this.
“Wherever you go, there you are”.
Don’t think all your problems will be solved by moving and then continuing to live the same way.
Perfectly valid reason to move to another city
People used to do it all the time, either following work or love.
I’m in the exact same boat.
If you have the means and ability to move to a big city, go for it. Big cosmopolitan cities are a lot of fun for a single twenty-something. Bars and restaurants and arts& entertainment, sports teams to see, nightclubs, etc. And a lot more single women. Small town suburbia is great for people with kids.
Enjoy the city and move back to you small town in ten years once you’ve found a wife and had a baby.
“How are you gonna keep them down on the farm after they’ve seen the lights of Paris”
It’s not crazy- a significant other is a huge part of life and if dating by OLD there are way more options / chances for finding a partner. Just moving anywhere even another small town, refreshes your outlook and energy.
Yea I think it makes sense. My personal experience with small town dating is that you know about peoples relationship history before you meet them sometimes which to me is a little off putting, I know that is on me. I also felt like people in friend groups just all slept with each other which was always a little weird. I would date a girl knowing two of my friends have slept with her before. If you can overlook that then you might be more mature than me or something idk. You go to the same like three places to meet other singles so there is less spontaneity which is way less of a problem om the city. You can always bump into a cute girl on walk out depending on where you live because of population density. Simple convos like nice dog, do you mind if I pet him? Then you hit it off or you dont depending on how good your conversation skills are. I have had better luck in the city but I am also originally from the city. I am also coloured and when I have lived in country its been dominantly white. Your experience would be dependent on how you adapt to cultural differences of where you go. If you went to a University town, your odds might increase because more people in your age range but take into account that they may not be all looking for LTR when so career focused. But there are definitely cities that are populated with countless of singles. I hate when you run out of people to swipe on in a small town. I dont recommend OLD but that is an example of why its so hard to find someone in a small town unless you settle which fuck that. Dont settle. I totally recommend moving man, fuck it, but remember the work ahead is cut out for you. Making new friends and social circles, being knowledgeable about the dating scene cause it will be more complex for sure. But a fun kind of complex.
Don’t do this. Having a place to call home where your friends are and your chill job is is very valuable and you’re lucky to have that. Bigger places doesn’t even mean that you’ll get more dates. I strongly recommend to stay where you feel comfortable instead.
I’ve spend the last two years in a larger city for a job and just recently came back home where my friends and family lives. I will never leave again, I think those people are a lot more important than dates.
Faced the same thing, chose not to move. I have a sweet mountain life, but the dating puddle here is abysmal at best. I opted to increase my distance in OLD apps, and indicated that I was willing to put in the effort of driving/scheduling for a relationship within 2 hours of my tiny town.
It worked. Seeing a fantastic guy. He’s just under 2 hours away, which has a few challenges but are totally manageable. Part of my success I think stems from openly stating my own willingness to travel, citing just how phenomenal my mountain lifestyle is. I met a lot of men willing to work with that.
Best wishes with whatever you decide to do!
No an area can indicate people’s values careers etc or religion whatever is important to you