oh man.. today has been a tough day.. i’m sitting here balling my eyes out writing this..
things were amazing between the two of us, but after a bit over a year, things went south. I was visiting my mother who is 8 hours away. Long story short, I came back & checked her phone & found out she was texting some other guy. I lost it on her, she was sobbing heavily. I shrugged it off & said whatever, people fuck up & I ended up forgiving her. We moved on from it, & then later down the road (maybe 6-8 months later) I woke up one night, checked her phone & saw she was messaging another guy.. I forgave her again! fucking stupid me… I set out strict boundaries/“rules” that I wanted her to abide by & she agreed.
I noticed she was out at 4am last night (which is not her self) & it had me worried. So fast forward today, I said we need to talk. I went to her house & there was a number on her phone I’ve never seen before. I said to call it please, I want to see if it’s a guy or a girl.. she insisted not to even when I tried my hardest to convince her. I told her to never talk to me again..
I was mentally/emotionally checked out of the relationship a couple months ago honestly, but couldn’t build the balls to end it. After the second time I caught her it took a toll on my mental… I went everyday thinking, who’s she messaging behind my back?, who’s she snap chatting?, who’s she talking to at work?, etc. It really wasn’t fair on me/her nor the relationship as a whole.
I was in love with this girl.. we’ve been together for a bit over 2 years before I broke up w her. Fuck man, I’ll never hug her again, kiss her, sleep & cuddle up next with her, see that beautiful smile… I think & hope I made the right decision, but it fuckin’ hurts.
10 comments
It would’ve hurt more to stay. Breaking up is the lesser hurt.
Time heals.
You won’t recognize her if you trip over her in 10 or 15 years.
Bruh I rather hurt and feel pain then be in a loveless relationship, in time you will feel better
I was like you, once.
EVERY time I thinked things like:
> I’ll never hug her again, kiss her, sleep & cuddle up next with her, see that beautiful smile
I remembered myself that possibly that beatifull smile that was kissing me on those good times, was cummed on previously the same day.
We people sometimes need to be smacked hard in the face, and sometimes we need to smack ourselves again and again until we shape up.
Time will pass. Hurt will heal. Life will go on. Youll find better people in your life.
I have broken up with people for looking through my phone. If she gave you permission to snoop through her stuff, totally different situation and not what I’m talking about. My hope for you is that you hold off on jumping into another relationship until you honestly feel that you can trust somebody. What she did was 100% wrong and you were right to break up with her. That is an entirely different issue. if you’re at the point where you are looking through someone’s phone, trust is already gone.
When I was your age, I broke up with my girlfriend who cheated on me and I took her back multiple times. This was before text messages lol. I read her fucking diary (yah, she kept a diary that detailed the time she fucked my friend… yeah that’s how I found out)
It screwed me up for quite a while. I didn’t trust women or anyone (including friends) for quite some time. I really hope that doesn’t happen to you. If you find yourself not trusting women because of this, please go talk to a therapist! That helped immensely!
As much as that helped, nothing healed me like finding the right woman. She leaves her phone unlocked in front of me all the time😅. I don’t snoop through it because reading her private conversations would be terribly disrespectful. She doesn’t deserve that. Oh, and the other morning, I left my phone at her apartment. She has the code. She doesn’t know how to check the phone usage on the iPhone, but I do. The phone was never opened once while she had it….
When you love and trust the right person, you won’t snoop through their shit and you won’t feel any reason to do so. I am so sorry this happened to you because I honestly know how it feels. It’s been 25 years and I remember everything about it! I remember the date and the time that I went over to her apartment to get my stuff and say goodbye to her pet ferret. I remember where I sat in the car waiting for her to get home…. The point is, this stuff sticks with you. Don’t let her ruin you. She’s not representative of all women, only her.
Go to the gym bruv
I know it sucks right now. But just think, next time you will be hugging someone that respects you, and that you can trust
I hope you find a person you can trust in your next relationship. So you don’t have to go through their phone. I’ve been with my partner for nearly 10 yrs, and I’ve never gone through his phone. Trust is an amazing confidence booster, for sure.
You did what you had to do. If you are in a position where your partner’s behavior makes you feel a continuous need to police them because they won’t stop doing dishonest things after the issue is brought out into the open, then the relationship is already broken beyond repair. This is not healthy for the “policer” nor the “policee”. This is not how a healthy, fulfilling relationship is. A good relationship is built on trust, so that there is no need felt by either party to question the other in this fashion. No healthy relationship involves one or both partners feeling the need to police each other.
What did you mean by “talking to another guy” exactly ? I don’t see the harm in that if there’s no flirting or emotional cheating. So she’s not allowed to have guy friends ? Sounds like you were controlling, possessive and overly jealous. Doesn’t sound like you were in love with her.