When visiting friends or family at their house, do you take your shoes off (voluntary or involuntary) or do you keep your shoes on?

33 comments

1. I keep them on unless I know already that they want you to take them off, or it’s obvious that they want that when walking in

2. I observe what is going on with the homeowners. If they have shoes off, I take mine off. Otherwise I leave them on.

3. I respect whatever they do themselves and follow suit.

4. I typically ask! At home, I usually don’t think about it much, but I like to be respectful of others.

5. Off, always. It’s snowy and muddy here for 6 months of the year, I’m not dragging salt and everything through your house. Almost everyone has a mudroom, foyer, or obvious entryway with a tray or something for shoes.

6. I always take my shoes off when entering someone’s house unless they tell me not to bother with it. The amount of dirt, mud, snow, etc, that we deal with up here make it inconsiderate not to do so.

7. At house parties, where there’s a decent number of people, it’s usually shoes on. Especially if there’s a lot of going between inside and outside.

   Small get-togethers, like with 5 or so friends, usually shoes off. But if you’re not sure, you can just follow the lead of the person whose house you’re at. Or just ask.

   Some people care, some don’t. Some of my family likes shoes off and some of my family doesn’t care.

8. I leave them on until they indicate that they want them off. I know some people that want them off, some people that want me to leave them on. For example, my grandparents *always* leave their shoes on (I’ve never actually seen them barefoot) so when I’m at their place I leave my shoes on. My parents don’t really care either way so I usually take my shoes off at their place but I’m not in a rush about it. Some of my friends are very insistent that shoes come off the second you walk in the door and so I follow that rule at their house.

9. I only ever take my shoes off involuntarily 🤦‍♂️🤣

10. I ask. If they want them off, I take them off. I’m inclined to do that anyway as we don’t wear shoes in the house at home.

11. I would keep my shoes on unless my shoes were wet/messy or they request no shoes. It is not something I am opposed to doing usually but I’m not going to fling my shoes off automatically. People who want no shoes generally make their wishes clear.

12. Large family gatherings, shoes on. Grandparents? They wear their own shoes at home for some reason so I keep them one. Group of friends? Shoes on or off. At home my shoes are always off.

13. I just follow the customs of the homeowners. Often there’s a shoe rack or a bunch of shoes on the mat near the front door if it’s a no-shoe house so I take that as a hint and follow what everyone else does. If there’s no such thing, then shoes on, though I personally prefer to take my shoes off and just wear socks.

14. It depends on what they want. I follow the rules of the house. I’m not sure what you mean by voluntarily or involuntarily though. Even if it’s not my preference, I still voluntarily do what they want, it’s not like they’re going to hold me down and duct tape my shoes to my feet so that I can’t take them off.

15. I simply ask what they would like me to do.

16. Whatever they expect. It’s their house and their rules.

17. I take them off involuntarily, because it snows where I live, and my European mother and grandparents get mad whenever we don’t

18. On unless it’s obvious they’re a shoes-off household or they ask me to remove them.

19. I’m Asian-American so I take my shoes off every time I enter someone’s home.

20. When I walk into a house I’ve been invited too I immediately urinate on the corner closest to the door. This act claims the house as my territory and thus gives me supreme authority over the entire dwelling. At that point I am allowed to take my shoe off or leave them on as I see fit.

21. I always find the shoe debate fascinating since I honestly don’t care if my guests remove their shoes or not. And I suspect my friends are the same because I can’t recall this ever being a topic that comes up.

    If I’m at the house of someone I don’t know well I ask and 90% of the time the response is “whatever”.

22. Shoes on by default and I rarely get asked to remove them. Based on the diversity in attitudes on multiple threads about this topic, I’m starting to suspect there’s a regional variation at work.

    Edit: I remove them if asked, to be clear.

23. Depends on what the occasion is. If it’s like a nice dinner with family, like Christmas or Thanksgiving level nice, shoes on, I’m not walking around barefoot in my Sunday best. A casual hangout with friends? Shoes off. Is the family hosting a barbecue for memorial day or the 4th where I’ll be in an out of the house pretty regularly? Shoes on, we’ll mop afterwards. Pool party? Shoes off, but I like to keep a pair of flip flops on standby if I need to walk through the kitchen or another tiled area. Big party, like, I’m talking more than 20 people in one house, especially if there’s alcohol involved? Shoes on, for protection, the more people the more likely your foot is going to get stepped on, which even without them wearing shoes is unpleasant. Is this party generally outside in a situation where I’m not helping my family with the party and therefore will be spending most of my time outside? Keep them on outside of course and if you have to go in just take your shoes off real quick. Is this my first time at a new friend’s house? Wait until directed to take them off, since usually there’s a designated spot (this spot can be anywhere in the home, I had several friends growing up who were religious about taking shoes off and putting them right next to the door, some had a shoe rack but I had one friend whose entire family of six left their shoes in a big pile next to the door, but most of my friends parents made them take their shoes off and put them in the closet, so they were a bit more lenient about where exactly you took your shoes off as long as it got done. I knew a couple people whose families took their shoes off outside, left them on the porch, and then came in. My mom preferred if we took our shoes off on the stairs a few feet away from the door and kept them there. Now that we’re living on our own, they’re a closet family, but they’ve also moved into a new house and the garage entrance they usually use is literally right next to the master bedroom so I can’t fault them too much, it’s not like they’re wearing their shoes in the house casually or anything they literally just take two steps and they’re in their bedroom).

24. Depends on whose house you are visiting, if your friend is asian American chances are your shoes have to come off, if it is your average blue collar American shoes stay on.

25. I usually take them off, but I just hate wearing shoes.

26. Follow the lead of the host

27. I’ll ask if they want me to take them off or leave them on.

28. I basically always take my shoes off when entering someone’s home, and most of my friends do too. I’m really surprised at all of the answers saying people don’t! I live in Washington state btw

29. I take them off.

30. If asked to, I would remove my shoes if I were a guest in someone’s home. I have never in my life been asked to do that. I’ve never met anyone that takes their shoes off at the door. Not saying no one ever does that in America, but I don’t know anyone personally that does.

31. I keep them on unless they’re muddy/wet/slushy or unless I see everyone else taking theirs off

32. I keep them on unless they’re muddy/wet/slushy or unless I see everyone else taking theirs off

33. I ask which they prefer.