Hey, I just adopted a Brit from a rescue last week and it won’t stop talking about this “monarchy” thing. It also seems agitated when I mention Fahrenheit and will only eat canned beans. How have my fellow countrymen dealt with this problem in the past?

12 comments

  1. Those are fragile creatures, be careful, they cry easily, and get very angry when talking about freedom or lack of taxes. Make sure you feed it lots of tea to keep it healthy, just be careful about its dental hygiene.

  2. I recommend you find a Canadian to rehome it. It will feel more at home there.

  3. I heard if you let them watch BBC they calm down exponentially and just sit there and watch British dramas, No need for anxiety medication. Fish and chips or a Roast is an alternative for food if you don’t have beans lying around. Careful with tea though they might bite if they deem it unsatisfactory! It’s better to find a gentle soul in Spain to give them the type of love they need.

  5. You may have heard that lager will calm and sooth them. This is untrue.

    Give them some meat wrapped in pastry, it seems to make them happy and will promote attachment to you.

  7. 20cc’s of HP Brown Sauce injected directly into the carotid artery will calm them right down.

  9. Well, first of all, I hope you know you’ll have to take it to the dentist straight away

  10. Have you determined whether or not it’s male or female?

    In either case, do NOT give it milk. They drink either warm beer or *shudder* hot tea.

  11. It’s best to play along and not upset it. Eventually it will become acclimated it’s surroundings. I’m sure it is still in shock right now.

    You’ll hear it utter odd words and phrases. Don’t be alarmed when it asks for Spotted Dick or Bangers and Mash.

  12. ESH, the only good temperature is metric, which measures heat by ever 10 electrons.

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