Got cheated on, feeling lost in life

my (21m) gf (20f) just broke up with me last thursday, without saying a word. she just ghosted me, blocked me on whatsapp, telegram, and even my phone number when i tried to call her.

we had been together for 9 months. she was my very first gf, while she previously had 2 exes (recent one being 30yo), and 2 fwbs (recent one being 40yo) which came as a shock to me when i found out later, but i just chose to ignore her past.

things were going well for us the first few months, going on fun dates, texting until 4am everyday.. at that time, it really felt like she was a genuinely nice person, who was easy-going and fun to be with.

the 2 of us came from vastly different family backgrounds, with me being more well-off while her having to rent a room to live in with her divorced stepmother.

knowing this, i offered for her to move in with me in my room at my house for 3 months, as it would more conducive for her studies, which my parents agreed to.

the first few weeks of living together was fun, spending time and cuddling together everyday. i gave her all the love she needed, dry her hair, bathe her everyday, and even wash her bra and underwear together with her every week. other than these chores, i even helped her edit her assignments and reports for school.

over time, this became a norm, and she started taking these for granted, getting annoyed when i do not have the time to do those stuffs for her due to my own schoolwork piling up. i had no choice but to sacrifice some work and sleep just to do these for her. but it really felt like there was no appreciation for what i did.

as more weeks went by, more red flags started surfacing. she would complain to me when my parents cooks meal that she doesn’t like, or get annoyed at me for not spending enough time with her when i have got assignments to complete, and many other small things which made me see her true self.

but even with all these, i chose to forgive and forget, hoping that she will become a better version of herself one day, hoping that this could really be a long-lasting relationship.

unfortunately, i was wrong. recently, we started to drift apart, texting less, hanging out less. despite all this, i still helped her edit her personal statements in her uni applications, hoping that i can make a difference in her future, or even OUR future.

less than a week after i finished editing her final application for her, she blocked me off completely without a goodbye. i tried to meet her at her home, but she just avoided me completely.

3 days ago, i went to her workplace, hoping for a proper talk to find some closure. i saw her with another guy. she had cheated on me, after all we have been through together for the past 9 months, without even a proper goodbye. that was my last time seeing her.

my first rs was such a shitty one. living together with someone can really help you see their true colours. i regret staying in this rs for so long, even after seeing all the red flags, genuinely hoping that some day she will change.

but i guess, some people never change. some people will never be grateful for what they have, until it’s gone.

knowing that i really tried my best in providing everything for her, this breakup has hurt me so much that im not sure whether i would be capable of loving anyone else the same. i dont think i will ever be able to get over this completely. i feel used and thrown away like i meant nothing. whereever i go, our memories together would keep coming back.

what i learnt from this is: LEAVE before you get pulled even further into a hopeless rs. staying longer would just make it even more painful when it eventually ends..

tl;dr got cheated on by my girlfriend 9 months into the relationship without a goodbye, even after doing everything I could for her. feeling very depressed