Hello people of reddit. It’s my very first time asking for a advice on here. But I am very scared. I am from India and arranged marriages are common here. (Both of the parties should be of the same community to be arranged in a marriage.) I am arranged to be married to a guy whom I rejected when I first time met him. It has been 6 months since then. I met him last year. My mother(single parent) asked me to meet him as he was from a nice family. I thought, “why not?” Let’s give it a shot. But boy! I didn’t know how wrong I was to go out and meet him. I didn’t like him at all. He was not my type. Plus the way he talked about woman really made my stomach churn. Iwas out with him for 3 hours. They were the worst 3 hours I have ever spent with a guy. Later his family and mine urged me to try again. I respect my elders very much. So I respected their wishes. And now I have been suppressing my true feelings for 6 months. I can’t sleep at night.When we first kissed, it was not romantic at all. He asks if I ever miss him. I always lie through my teeth and say yes, i do. He asks me for nudes. I don’t want to give anything like that to him. I am so broken from inside. I have been preparing myself to come clean and tell him that we are not meant for each other at all. Still nothing is ruined as we were arranged to be married in october. I have talked to my mother about this as well. She says she would never force any decision on me. I am her kid. She only cares about my happiness.
What do you guys think? Is it too late?
15 comments
Be honest with her, but be prepared for the bullshit that can come. “every man is like that and you’re getting to old for kids”
(Source: I am Indian)
there should be just a sub for Indians for this, cuz the whole arranged marriage thing is stupid as fuck to most of the world.
> Plus the way he talked about woman really made my stomach churn.
exactly how did he talk, cuz I am curious how mysoginistic you have to be in India to offend someone who you are about to acquire as property?
is it too late to not marry someone who you don’t want to marry? to the rest of the world, no it isn’t too late. To people in India? who the f knows, if it is too late in that culture. It was probably too late the moment you were born indian.
If you haven’t exchanged vows it’s not too late. Be kind and end it.
It’s not too late. It’s never too late. You are setting yourself up for a life of misery if you marry this man.
You always have a choice. It’s good your family is standing behind you. You are young and I’m sure you can find someone who makes you happy and your family approves of.
Not too late. Waiting will not make it any easier. Some things are better handled ASAP because they won’t get any better on their own.
Good that your mom is supporting you! And nobody on Reddit wants you to marry someone you don’t like.
Please stop lying to him. The kindest thing is to stop pretending.
Never too late!! Tell him now!
Just say it doesn’t feel like we are right for each other and block him!
The sooner you end it the better for all. Don’t subjugate your feelings or needs. Do not marry him.
It’s not too late. You need to tell your mother you tried but can’t do it anymore.
And for the love of God, stop lying to him.
If your Mom truly cares about your happiness, tell her the truth. Tell her that you can’t stand him and will not marry him. Also show her the texts where he asked for nudes. I don’t think that will go over well with his family.
You KNOW you can’t be married to this man. Better get courage to break it off right now than doing it once you’re married and at your wit’s end.
Don’t do it. You don’t even like him. I know love isn’t the goal, but you should like him.
You have be to willing to fight for the life you want.
Staying passive and letting others make decisions for you will bring nothing but unhappiness.
It’s not too late! You can do this, be strong! You will be miserable if you marry this guy. It’s going to be unpleasant, it’s going to hurt, but it will be nothing, NOTHING, compared to having to spend a lifetime with someone you don’t even like, let alone love.
If you marry him you will be miserable and eventually so will he. It’s never too late to end it, and it will give you both a chance to find happiness that you won’t find with each other.