I’ve been seeing this girl for the past two weeks and we’ve had 3 dates.

It’s been great and I’ve really been enjoying spending time with her.

However she’s been giving me mixed signals and it’s driving me nuts.

Firstly, after the second date she felt as if I wasn’t moving fast enough for her and sent this whole goodbye message. I appreciated the message and moved on and wished her luck as I wasn’t doing what she wanred. But then she changed her comment and said that it was her friends her told her to say that and she understands some people like it slow.

Secondly, we went out on a Friday night and then the Sunday she sent the message above. After that I decided to see if she wanted dinner and she said yes. I told her I’d pick her up around 6:30. Anyway I accidentally forgot to tell her when I left and Mid drive she cancelled on me saying I’m making things difficult. But because I was half way there we decided to skip the reservation and watch a movie and have dinner at hers. It was nice and I felt it was really good. We spoke a lot about us and everything.

Now recently this week has been chaos for me as so much is happening. All this stuff had been planned for a while. I let her know that I was very busy this coming week and that Sunday night is the only time I had free and that sunday day I was spending with friends. She agreed to the date and said Sunday night was good.

I then decided to confirm dinner reservations and a movie time and her response was “oh I didn’t know this was a night thing”. Normally when I forget something she goes back through our chat and finds the message and reminds me how I forgot so I did the same thing.

Her next message was “sorry I might pass on that” and then said “I don’t like seeing you once a week I’ve done it before and it doesn’t work for me I believe if you like someone you will make time for them, goodbye”.

I said “I felt like I gave you a heads up about my week it’s not like this every week it’s just this week is busy. I am making time for you which is why I’m organising another date”.

She then said “it’s fine you’re naturally busy but you aint ready for something serious I’m sure when you find someone you’re actually interested in you will have time for them”.

I was a bit upset and confused with her message. I was working and busy with work. I was going to respond but she sent me messages saying “thanks for getting back to me. You’re not as good as a person as I thought you were”.

She deleted me and blocked me on everything.

I really don’t know what happened. I feel like I did something wrong but she was so hot and cold with me.

Any advice wold be helpful.

26 comments

  1. She is pushing you away before you can hurt her. She has some healing she needs to do and this doesn’t really have much to do with you. She most likely be very controlling in a relationship so you dodged a bullet

  2. The advice is she blocked you and she’s obviously not worth it. Think of all the time you will save now and not wasting it on her. Heck, you might even be able to use that free time to find someone who can accommodate your schedule more with patience and understanding.

  3. Like the other commenters said, I think you’re better off. My advice is to block her too. It’s not fair to be dragged for these small things like having a life and trying to maintain it the best way you can. It’s immature of her to play around like she has. You may have had a good time with her in the past, but I get major red flags from her behavior and I wouldn’t dwell on the trash taking itself out. You can find someone that won’t play around with you.

  4. >I believe if you like someone you will make time for them, goodbye”.

    What in the fuck kind of crazy town is this shit? If a girl sent me this, I couldn’t hit the block button fast enough. You were the bottom of the bottom lowest rung on her list of priorities. She is just waiting and waiting for you to make a ‘mistake’ so she can have the excuse to cut ties. So she can go to all her peer pressuring friends and go, “look! See? I tried with a guy and it didn’t work out.”

    >You’re not as good as a person as I thought you were”.

    What in the goddamn fuck. She’s fucking crazy, OP. You dodged a bullet. A b-u-l-l-e-t. Thank your lucky stars she’s out of your life now.

  5. Mate, don’t think she was actually interested in you. Would recommend you to never think about it and just move on

  6. This girl is either bat shit crazy, or she hasn’t done the necessary healing it takes before getting into another relationship with someone.

    You honestly dodged a bullet. From your post it sounds like you did everything you could to make time for her. However, the same courtesy was not extended to you. No where did I see her trying to compromise to find time to see you, it was all on you.

    Take the blocking from her as an absolute blessing. Also make sure to keep your head up and don’t take this situation personally at all.

  8. Oh wow I think you dodged a bullet to be honest. She really seems self centered and would have made your life miserable. You did absolutely nothing wrong from what you wrote.

  9. Can somebody please explain to me what OP stands for? I keep seeing it everywhere on Reddit. Thank you.

  10. > she changed her comment and said that it was her friends her told her to say that and she understands some people like it slow.

    Unless you’re like, 15, this is a red flag and you should have walked away after this. This is a very immature person who will be extremely annoying to date, let alone have a relationship with.

    But I’m also not at all clear how you could be confused about what happened. She told you that you won’t be able to meet her needs in terms of time and doesn’t want to date you as a result. So she blocked you.

    My advice is to not worry about her, and to move on. Next time, if someone displays such massive immaturity, don’t waste further time on them.

  11. The fact you had to write a story about this situation I feel says a lot. It isn’t worth it

  17. Don’t overthink this one and move on.

    I know someone, unemployed by choice and no plans to ever work (and tbf, hiring her for any job would be a bad deal, she is really dumb, sorry). She is only dating other unemployeds bc she doesn’t like if her bf spend their day with working instead of hanging out with her.

    So to each their own i guess….

  19. What in clingy toxic manipulative shit is this? She saved you by blocking you OP!

  20. She sounds like she has insecurities and is unable to form her own opinions, so she asks her friends, and whatever they say is what she would do.

    The healthiest thing for you was her leaving because that pattern of insecurity leads to incapacity to trust someone while in a relationship.

  22. The last message. She didn’t like it. She has a good image e of herself and can’t accept being on the wrong side. Honesty I think you did nothing wrong. In my opinion, even if you passed a good time together and everything we are looking for two different types of relationships that are not compatible together. Just go on….

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