I am a closeted atheist/agnostic in the bible belt. I am also struggling with this issue where a lot of what I say and do is misinterpreted. My job requires communication and building relationships with people in the community. I struggle with shutting off my true personality at work, and also struggle with overanalyzing and personalizing biting jokes and double entendres. I’m in Oklahoma, so people tend to indirectly insult. “Bless her heart” sort of thing. I over analyzing almost every social interaction and I wonder if I am mentally ill. I know I have anxiety and CPTSD, but it feels more is wrong. I am also very emotionally expressive, and am possibly emotionally immature. I also have terrible coping mechanisms. Idk. I am really having a hard time. Seems as soon as I get comfortable around anyone, work wise or elsewhere, I eventually say something that offends someone else and I take conflict really poorly. However, I feel I deal with a LOT of offensive situations, but can’t verbalize it as I am often the minority opinion. Idk. I just need help sorting through this.
3 comments
I see. Have you tried reading books on effective conversation?
When facing a lot of perceived opposition or resistance (and it sounds like you are), it’s normal to feel isolated/lonely and doubt yourself, possibly even question your sanity. I think you’d be surprised by how receptive people might be to your perspectives. Sorry to hear it sounds like you’ve endured a lot of loss!
Every time you get offended by something, write it down. When you get home or any other safe space, think about it. Think about why it offended you. Fine the core reason and see if it’s rational or not. The more you do it the easier it becomes. Once you find the answers, you’ll feel much more at peace and will not get offended easily.
Respect is one thing that everyone needs and they don’t care where it comes from. If you respect people and make them feel special and heard, they won’t care if you are an atheist or a communist. As long as they get a good feeling when they are with you, you will be fine.
Are you a guy or a girl if you don’t mind me asking? Women will have to do a lot more to not come of as combative and aggressive unfortunately. Especially in the bible belt where they are expected to be/ act a certain way.