To give a brief overview. I’m a 30 year old male who’s never been in a serious relationship as an adult. I’ve had a few hookups, but never anything beyond that. I’ve tried basically every app that you can think of. Tinder, POF, Bumble, Hinge, OKcupid and the results have been the same no matter what.
Outside of dating, I do quite well for myself. I have a career that I’ve been in now for almost 5 years and I make over 100k a year at this point. I own my own house and car, and have a few close friends that I can rely on. I have a few hobbies. I collect video games and pokemon stuff, with the intention of either opening my own shop down the road sometime or selling it all years down the road for a hopefully large net profit. I also play video games sometimes. I also enjoy athletic activities. Mainly hockey or sporting events, but hiking, camping, travelling are all good on occasion. I recently got my passport and will start travelling soon. I had preferred to wait until I found a girl because I believe an experience like that is better shared but I’m just tired of waiting honestly.
That’s me in a nutshell. Not really sure what I’m looking for. Maybe confirmation that it is indeed my physical attributes that are holding me back or maybe for someone to tell me it’s all in my head and there’s nothing to worry about. I don’t know.
I’d post pictures for reference but this sub doesn’t let me lol.
Stats:
5’10
~225lbs
Caucasian.
5 comments
Have you ever thought of…..you know talking to women in the wild. I know thats super scary for people nowadays but you get much better results over online. Also you cut through the arbitrary nature of online dating cause you actually have to use your personality vs just relying a picture.
>Outside of dating, I do quite well for myself. I have a career that I’ve been in now for almost 5 years and I make over 100k a year at this point. I own my own house and car, and have a few close friends that I can rely on. I have a few hobbies. I collect video games and pokemon stuff, with the intention of either opening my own shop down the road sometime or selling it all years down the road for a hopefully large net profit. I also play video games sometimes. I also enjoy athletic activities. Mainly hockey or sporting events, but hiking, camping, travelling are all good on occasion.
For example all of this doesnt really mean jackshit online, its just a resume. However if you know…talked to a woman in wild and shared your passion for your hobbies you’d give off a great vibe.
I dated a woman purely off of just passionately explaining how DnD works and she liked the vibe I was putting out. She had no idea what I was talking about but liked the vibes.
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> Maybe confirmation that it is indeed my physical attributes that are holding me back
If you have flaws, online dating will just make it worse.
> maybe for someone to tell me it’s all in my head and there’s nothing to worry about
Partially, but you wont know fully until you try….you know getting in the field and not playing with your phone.
Unless you are an exceptional man, tall and such, you need to meet women using social networking at social events. Or if you want to do it online, use social proof and slide in to a mutual friends DM. If you lack friends or whatever, then give up.
Sorry if that isn’t what you wanted to hear.
To be honest sound like for me 225 lbs for 5’10 is a bit too much according to BMI u should be at max 175 lbs. So you should work on that to be more fit!
Ur personality sound fine from what u say but always difficult to say if we don’t really know you in person.
Tbh, I’ve been told I’m pretty by a lot of guys/people. (I genuinely have insecurities and don’t feel that way) but I do notice guys show interest and it’s normally guys wanting someone more than a booty call. Which leads me to mention that Ive been told by people around me, that “ I could do better” with my exes regarding looks. They weren’t all that great looking, but I kid you not their personalities were so good that it made me see so much beauty in them. The looks isn’t wasn’t reeled me in, but I would say my ex was a solid 4 when it came to looks only. I was so In love with him, and then he got kinda weird and dumped me over not wanting to read books with him, and learn about business. He started to kind of punish me for not reading the books he told me to read. So it caused me to give up on the relationship, and he dumped me and begged for me back. It was too late.
What I’m saying is, don’t worry about the looks. Theres always people hungry for a solid connection with someone even if it means not dating a 10/10. I’d take a guy that treats me right over the 10/10 looks and no heart/fun personality. I’d rather be with a chubby funny short guy, than a tall handsome man that is boring or a liar. If they can make me laugh and are respectful, I’m sold most the time. Unless they abused drugs or alcohol or something like that. Hope this helps you have a little hope. I’m sure there’s someone out there that can find beauty in you, even if you feel like you might not have it. We can’t change the way we look, but we can change the way we light up a room with our attitude, energy, smile, confidence, and connection. Hope this helps a tiny bit fam.
Dating is hard for a lot of people tbh, for both men and women, so take some solace in the fact that you are not the only one. Even attractive men or women struggle to find the right partner, I actually personally know an attractive female friend and she’s even a dance teacher, and so meets tons of men every class, yet she still has a difficult time finding someone she’s attracted/connected to. The truth is as people get older, looks become less important, especially for women, and things like connection/ values play a much bigger role. Looks definitely help, especially for hooking up, but when it comes to love/relationships, it’s an entirely different ball game.