Experiences with dating services?

25 comments

1. I don’t know if they’re still around, but years ago I tried Great Expectations. They don’t tell you the prices, or let you see any of the member profiles for a reason. For anyone who’s seen the “Lowered Expectations” skit on SNL, it’s like that.

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3. I haven’t personally but a female friend tried it and said it was a waste of money. She said it was basically people too inept or lazy to put the effort into creating their own profile, people who she really had nothing in common with but was convinced by the company that the problem she has with online dating is she doesn’t go “out of her comfort zone”. Spent over $1k to go on 2-3 bad dates.

4. People have posted in here before about it, and it sounds like the general consensus is that it’s a waste of money.
   I can’t guide you to a post because I don’t even remember when it was posted (in 2022 for sure), but one commenter said something about how they paid a ton of money just to be set up on dates with people who weren’t even enrolled in the service – the employees would just pick people off the street and have them attend dates (forgive me if I’m misremembering the comment but it was something like that!).

   I feel like the fact that most OLD is cheap and easy, people using dating services are quite low these days.

5. A couple girlfriends (both attractive, successful, 50-ish) used Talkify here in DC. Pretty pricey ($5-7K I think for half a dozen dates). Moderately successful – they both had a number of perfectly fine dates, some with men who were also on the usual apps, and a couple who weren’t. Several of the men had been recruited off the apps by the company.

   Neither ultimately found their guy through that service, one subsequently found someone on Hinge, another through a set up. Both were actively dating throughout. I think it was good as an adjunct to other dating efforts but not a substitute. Hope that helps!

6. I’m done with online dating as well. I want to meet new people without the use of online dating. I just don’t know where to start.

7. Just curious, what pushed you over the edge regarding online dating?

   FWIW, I actually met a woman (through online dating lol) who used a dating service and she said it was horrible. She maybe used it 3 times, and it wasn’t any better than just finding people herself through apps. Just a waste of money. This was in the Seattle area if that matters.

8. I’m using a local matchmaker at the moment. It is a hell of a lot cheaper than most services ($800 for 12 dates over 6 months)

   unfortunately I’m realizing why it was cheaper. The matchmaker is sweet but a bit disorganized and inconsistently responsive. Because of this, I’m 2.5 months in and have only been on one date (I was lukewarm on the girl and was ok with a second but she was a no on the second). I sent her a “hey I’m gonna need you to help me out more” text and I allegedly have another date lined up next week but we’ll find out if it happens

   I didn’t want to pay the requisite $2k+ for a bigger service. I would feel terrible if I spent that much and still ended up single

9. My experience after maybe 50 Tinder dates: 96% of times its a disappointment and the person is either not looking like their pictures, has mental health problems or did not tell you something on purpose (e.g. “I have kids btw) or combination of these things.

   On that last 4% of times when you actually find someone whos great match with you (atleast on paper), it doesn’t feel “organic” or “real” and there is no spark because the setting feels artificial and lukewarm: you didn’t romantically bump into each other at library, mall or anything else like that, instead you were matched by an algorithm and exhausting process resembling hiring process for an employee where you go through masses of applicants just to find someone who can do the job well enough. This process makes you jaded, cripples your self-esteem and makes meeting people feel more like a job than entertaining pastime.

   I work in IT and believe that technology can bring lot of happiness in the world, but with that being said my honest opinion about online dating is that its pretty much always bullshit not worth your time.

10. Post again in a few months, and I’ll let you know. Just signed up with a local service. I think it was 8~9k-ish for a year. No guarantees on number of dates/etc. But since I’ve been dissatisfied with my regular dating apps for most of the winter, I figured it couldn’t hurt.

11. One of my female friends hired a matchmaker, I think she paid her $5000 so far. The matchmaker sent her five or six candidates and my friend was not interested in any of them. The deal is that the matchmaker will keep working until my friend has found a guy she likes or meets at least three different people in person, whichever comes first

12. I sold dating memberships for a group called “Its just lunch” here in NYC. They service singles everywhere. I can tell you it was a complete waste of money with that particular group. We’d ask all these qualifying *questions* and the “matchmakers” didn’t use any of this information when setting up matches. They literally would find one or two things a couple people had in common and match them/send them on a date together. If you do use a matchmaking service, don’t use them.

13. You’d be better off going to speed dating or single mingles where you’re in a room of other singles who are open and looking.

14. My friend used Tawkify and went on 3 awful dates. Paid a lot of money. She’s currently dating someone she met on Bumble. They have been together for years

15. You’re not going to get anything out of it that’s better than free online dating. There aren’t amazing single people who are only using expensive dating services. People who want to seriously find someone are using all free methods themselves already.

    As someone else suggested, you’re better off paying much less for speed dating events where you’re at least guaranteed to meet multiple people in one day.

16. Guaranteed you can name 5 of your friends who met SOs online dating, in person through other people or work events, or on social media. Also guarantee you can’t name 5 friends who met a SO through matchmakers. This is for a reason.

17. I haven’t tried any although a couple people said they were scammy.

    If you won’t give me a price and details upfront I’m a skeptic

18. My understanding is that a lot of matchmaking agencies today just blind message people on LinkedIn (especially) and other social media sites to see if they’d be willing to go on a date with one of their clients. They don’t actually have enough of a client list to match clients with other clients.

19. I just expired on eHarmony (don’t laugh at me). I’ve tried them all and this was my last stop. That whole compatibility mumbo jumbo is IMO a bunch of BS. Match brought 1 good prospect but alter 3 dinners his 60 year old body was obviously desiring a 24yo ? So, I’m like not 24, WTF? I decided to stop OLD and was hoping to get enough information here to possibly start something new for the over 30ish crowd that seems to be in the same boat. Edit: Don’t get me wrong, I get a satisfactory amount of likes (never been swiped at (lol). I just don’t feel these sites are doing certain types of people justice. Some of the top matchmakers in LA recommend going to a nice restaurant or hotel bar and order a drink and do a little work on your iPad. She said it works – guys will end up talking to you. This has worked for me in the past for chatting only, but lately I’m only meeting girls (lol) which is okay. She also recommend going places where the type of person you want to meet will likely be. This was silly, I thought. He’ll, if I knew where they were I’d be finished with this already! Levity aside, I get what she meant. I like to hit golf balls so hoping to maybe hit someone (accidentally on purpose) with a golf ball at the range. He would have to talk to me then, right? (lol) I’m not a bad golfer, just not great! Good luck everyone.

    Edit spelling: after 3 dinner dates

    Edit punctuation: Hell

20. Scam

21. Using Tawkify now. I’m in a smaller city and a young lawyer. Got sick of dating apps because of the amount of time I spent on them and unserious women who would have a good date with me (or two) then just jump after the next bright shiny object and ghost.

    They have struggled to find me matches and have attempted to ignore my criteria, which is frustrating. The first date, the woman was well qualified and very fun, but I was not physically attracted to her. I was optimistic after this date though because she was much closer to the type of person I had been looking for.

    But after the optimistic start, it’s been down hill. She attempted to match me with a woman two hours away with a child (something I told her I did not want) and who didn’t seem to have anything going for her professionally. She then attempted to match me with a woman who he already ghosted me that I met through mutual friends. She has since not gotten back to me about more dates.

    In summary, the key with expensive services like Tawkify I think is to not let them bully you into wasting your dates. Be clear the type of people you are attracted to and do not compromise when you accept dates. Make them do their work. If they can, they will attempt to just cycle you through your minimum number of dates and dump you. But I still have five more matches, so perhaps my next few dates will be better.

22. Ive done numerous single events, speed dating, wine and cheese mixers, gallery and tapas nights etc, and found them pretty good. Usually just has an event cover charge.

    That being said I do okay with the apps too. Having gone to a few events i suspect a lot of the issues some face with the apps are just as present in their IRL attempts at introductions and meeting people.

23. It’s pretty silly to think a matchmaker or dating service has access to a ton of high quality men or women just waiting for dates.

24. Funny story, when I was in my early 20s I went for an interview at its just lunch. They thought I was there for a dating profile. So I ended up filling out all of these really random things that are super against the law to ask but I can tell you that I would never ever ever ever use their services at least that particular one based on what I know now

25. Help me I need a women to help me build my life 3375802871