so i am a virgin and i have always thought i was different when i see women in porn.
the thing is, i don’t have ciltoral hood so i am not sure where my clit is, it is supposed to be where the labia minora meet but that part for me is not sensitive nor arousing.
this is dumb ik but it has been holding me back from sex cuz it thought something is wrong with me but i want live and not be captivated by these fears.
10 comments
Maybe you need to do some self exploration to find out for yourself. Then you can direct future lovers.
Touching your vulva without being aroused usually doesn’t feel like much. You won’t suddenly hit a spot and go from ’meh’ to ’oh my god yes’. Watch some porn or read erotic literature to get your head in the space and get the blood flowing and then just start exploring. You can start super basic and just apply a little pressure over your underwear and see if that feels good and where and when you’re ready feel yourself up naked. Spread your own wetness around or use lube, dry skin won’t feel as good. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself i just applied pressure here and there for a while before you started masturbating for real and then it took some learning and convincing myself to even let myself get to orgasm. So just take your time and get to know yourself.
Women in porn often have had plastic surgery to ‘neaten up’ their crotches. Some women are naturally very flat down there, and others very crinkly. Some have big hoods, and some almost none. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the clit itself.
I would get some lube, put some music on and have a casual play around. Feel for the structures under the skin – the clit isn’t a button, it’s a whole bigger thing, including a sort of ‘mini penis’ hidden inside, coming down to the top of the labia. Have a look online at diagrams of the whole organ: Wikipedia is good.
If you get stressed touching yourself, another way might be to turn the shower to a cool setting, jet function if you have it, and spray it around the area. You’ll probably get an OO moment, it won’t be sudden ecstasy, just a Whoa.
This study showing diversity in vulvas might be helpful: https://gynodiversity.com/uploads/Classification_of_the_anatomical_variation_in_female_external_genitalia.pdf
When you say that you don’t have a clitoral hood, is that because you know you had a surgery to remove it?
I think you should do some research of different looking vaginas! But just remember, no matter what it looks like, 99.99% of people don’t care as long as you don’t have STD’s lol
>i don’t have ciltoral hood
That is unlikely. More plausibly, your hood is completely covering your clitoris, which is why you don’t have a lot of sensitivity.
You will need to do some exploring of your own body. Have fun with it!
I thought similar for a long time until I actually sat down on the floor with a light and a mirror. Mine is very tucked away (almost too tucked away) and I have to physically part the lips to view the hood. My clit is very small and I still have trouble seeing it but you should be able to feel it. Take time to just run your fingers around there and get used to any sensations.
i can feel mine on the tip of my finger when i lay my index finger on the vagina in a way that my middle finger joint is located at the start of the crack (of the vagina in the front). if you know what i mean, dont know how to explain it better
Do you still have your hymen? I know you’re a virgin but have you ever fingered yourself? If you do have your hymen some girls can have a larger hymen that can block the clit area. Which means you would need to break your hymen and spread your lips a part to get your vulva open wider also if you don’t know your whole pussy is called the vulva the vagina is the middle hole. Some girls also have deeper clits until they are fulling horny, it grows kind of like a penis does. So you think you’re missing the hood but the fact is that it can be deeper inside the vulva or you could have a larger hood and its cover the top of your clit. So yes I would get a mirror and start be seeing if your hymen is there if you never fingered yourself or have had any kind of penetration.
Once you figure that out you can get things spread a part and open so you can feel around. Also the clit is shaped like a wishbone with the top part of the clit being the most sensitive but running your fingers down both sides of the inside in a wishbone shape should give you a good sensation and then you can go from there. You might bleed a little if you have to break your hymen but it shouldn’t hurt if it does it will be very little.
It might be that you have clitoral phimosis, which I acquired in later life but some people are born with. If you do, it’s treatable with physiotherapy