Hi Everyone- I want to start by saying I am not looking for medical advice and yes I have a therapist I speak with.
I would love some outside perspectives on this.
I am a woman in my mid twenties and I have a very severe dissociative disorder. Back in November, I was able to break out of the dissociation as I planned a trip to visit my boyfriend who is in another country. We had a great time and since then I have traveled back and forth to spend time with him, with little to no dissociation.
A month ago, unfortunately, I have fallen back into a dissociative state and I know what triggered it. I have not been able to pull out of it, even with another trip planned to see him in a month. I am barely functional. This has been beyond heartbreaking for me as I was so happy to be functional and active for the last 4 months. I am back to being more or less bedridden.
My boyfriend is aware of my history with this. Up until now, I have not told him that I have fallen back as I thought perhaps I could move through it and I did not want to worry him unnecessarily.
I do not know if I should break it off with him. I wonder if it’s the best idea for him, or if I am sabotaging it. I don’t know. He is, quite literally, the light of my life, and to loose him would be a fatal blow to me. He has been my rock for the past 2 years. It is because I love him that I am contemplating breaking it off. I am crying writing this. I am not functional and I just think he needs someone who is stable.
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Tl;DR: I lapsed back into a dissociative disorder, am back to not being functional, and want to know if I should break it off with my boyfriend because of it
1 comment
You’ve been together 2 years, I’m assuming he loves you. So tell him what’s going on. I bet he’ll be more hurt you held it from him. This is what partners are for! They help you through life. Just reach out.