What do you do when someone very close to you disappoints you?

12 comments

1. Depends on what they did

2. It can be hard to deal with that kind of thing, but it’s important to try and communicate with them about how you’re feeling. Maybe they didn’t even realize they were disappointing you! If you can’t talk to them directly, maybe try writing them a letter or finding another way to express yourself. And remember, it’s okay to feel disappointed and hurt, but try not to hold onto those negative feelings for too long – it’s not good for you or your relationship with that person.

3. I don’t talk to them a lot than I usually do. The worst one I did was I cut them off in my life.

4. Grieve. Seek out emotional support from my people. Cry.

5. Depends on the context: what did they do, why did it disappoint me, how important is it to me, what does it say about their character, etc

6. I evaluate if my feelings of disappointment is valid or if I need to reframe my mindset to be more understanding of their actions. Sometimes it’s possible neither side is wrong and in that case I would rethink my expectations of them and find what I’m missing in new friends.

7. Dump them!

8. Cry. Write about it. Avoid them for awhile.. then work on forgiving or letting it go.

9. This happens with one of my siblings every now and then, they all do it in their own way because we grew up so close and now we’re adults and figuring ourselves out and they all tend to be a little selfish, whereas I’ve got a habit of making myself too available to them- I’m the oldest and working on not being such a people pleaser, ugh- so I’ve been trying to pull away and focus on what’s going on in my own life, lowering my standards for them, stop relying on them because that’s really the source of the problem for me. I get my hopes up a lot. They’ve shown me their true behavior time and time again, so I need the reminders.

10. call my therapist immediately. then i air them out in my journal and voice notes

11. It depends on the person and the severity of the disappointment. But I’d let them know my expectations if I haven’t already. If it’s something reasonable, then discussing what each of you expects from the other prevents similar disappointments in the future

12. It’s not different depending on what happened, but usually it’s just thinking a bit less of the person and then doing the extra work myself to make up for whatever they did. In most cases we end up drifting and not being so close long-term.

    Over the many years I’ve been disappointed a lot of times, but thankfully I’ve gotten to where the people that are close to me now rarely disappoint me and it’s usually in minor ways.