I met my boyfriend 3 years ago at a college party and he is very kind and sweet to me. We would study together and help each other out in goals. We moved into an apartment a year ago and my parents truly love him.
Over the past 6 months though, he seems obssessed with a comic book character named Gwen Stacey (specifically the variant found in the spiderverse animated films and comics instead of the original). I have my favourite cartoon characters too so I might be insecure but he keeps staring at the images of her for hours and watches the spiderverse 2 trailers over and over just to get glimpses of her.
He’s also wanting me to dye my hair blonde as he thinks I have the look of her except my hair color. I find this obssession a bit creepy but he assures me he loves me for me. Again, maybe I’m just insecure for feeling threatened by a comic book character but how do I tell him to tone down his obssession of gwen?
9 comments
IMO as soon as he started trying to get you to look more like her he crossed a line.
Yeah- that’s a hard pass. You’re not his blow up doll.
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It sounds like your boyfriend is not emotionally ready for a relationship. Being this preoccupied with a fantasy doesn’t bode well for him accepting you as a real person.
It sounds like you’ve talked to him about this if he insists he loves you for you. You may have to point it out again that you are not a cartoon character, you are your own real life person and are happy with it that way. Tell him that you’re not saying he has to eliminate Gwen from his life, but he does have to stop with Gwen around you. Tell him that you don’t consider yourself an insecure partner, but you’re starting to feel that you *are* in competition with a cartoon character. How would he feel if you were into “HeMan” and had *seriously* asked him to wear a furry loincloth and dye his hair orange?
Either that or embrace it. Get the costume and go blonde or get a blonde wig and endulge him one night. Which is actually something some people might do if they were comfortable with the whole cosplay/role play thing.
Tell him he has to look like your favorite male character from anything. /s
Break up and have self respect?
No, it’s not insecurity, it’s creepy. You have her look, except your hair, which he now wants you to dye the color of a comic book character. I think the line between you and gwen stacey is getting blurred in his mind. Unless he gets help I don’t see it cooling off.
I think it’s perfectly fine to have fictional crushes … but not like this. There is a big chance he‘s just trying to change you into a fantasy and isn’t really attached to you in the first place, but rather an image he wants you to fulfill in his head.