lesbian dating advice: feeling undateable after first break-up

hi, i am a 27 f and my ex is 26 f.

this was my first relationship, which only lasted 2 months as i became very cautious of her daily use of substances. i ended our relationship this morning for those reasons, and thought we had a decent enough, respectful talk about it.

she ended up writing me an email expressing her thoughts (easier than speaking them for her) and it left me feeling confused. throughout our relationship, she said it was okay with her that i would have to move slowly because i was new to dating, and that at times i’d be awkward. her last relationship was over a year ago (broke up for the same substance-related reasons, apparently) and has since had FWBs situations/been in the hook-up scenes.
however, in her email, she told me she had to admit she felt her “patience spread thin” because i wasn’t meeting the intimacy she needed — being lots of constant sex, which she’s been used to. we only had sex once recently a couple weeks ago, for the first time, and i intended to again (after, tmi ish, my period ended because i am new to this and was self-conscious to do it during).

but this left me feeling bad and undateable, as she said i was following a hetero/monogamous/traditional model of dating timelines by having waited to have sex then proceed to go more slowly. she said i could take all the time i need, but because “our brains are different,” didn’t think i’d want to make out outside of a relationship although she would still want to.

is this just an incompatibility between life styles? and issue in communication? this is my first break-up, and so i am just left feeling confused & almost insecure now to date again in the future when i probably shouldn’t be – like i am bad at being gay lol