Should I feel ashamed for marrying interracial?
I am Indian-born-American. My wife is Columbian-born-American. Our son doesn’t expose to Indian culture much. He speaks English and Spanish.
How should I deal with the Indian-Americans who shame me for marrying interracial which leads to absence of Indian culture to my children? Behaves like Divorce your wife as an apology.
Why it was necessary to teach my American born children Indian culture?
Why should I put Indian culture over my wife?
My wife gives me emotional support. She supports me in every aspect of my life.
6 comments
It’s your life, your wife and your child. No, you don’t need to apologize for anything. I would limit contact with those who try to shame you for living your life differently.
My advice would be to marry the woman you love and basically tell your family to “fuck off!”. I’m not even sure I’d be polite about it.
That’s easy for me to say as a white american guy, but I just can’t fathom letting my parents tell me who I should marry or making me feel badly if I made a different choice.
Plus…..it’s also offensive. They’re basically saying that your wife is less because she doesn’t share their culture. In American we call that “racism” and “bigotry”. I know your family doesn’t see it that way, but I do. 😉
Sorry, my friend.
First question you asked, don’t ever feel ashamed for loving someone you love. Doesn’t matter where they’re from, what sex they identify as, where their parents come from or how many fingers they have on each foot. Love who you love and accept the love they have for you!
As far as cultural questions: Maybe view multi-culture as a blessing? Your kid is going to benefit from all kinds of cultural mixing. Everything from food to history to the cadence of how they speak and carry themselves. It’s a wonderful thing and great for the genetics too!
As far as putting Indian culture over your wife: Share your culture with your family if they like it. Just don’t force Indian cultural customs to somehow fill a role of “man of the house.” Maybe you and your wife can pick up positive bits from each others’ culture to make a new one of your own!
Best of luck to your family. Don’t pay attention to the haters. You’re lucky to be so diverse! Take care 🙂
I’m a product of interracial marriage. I’m well adjusted, love my parents and very connected to my mom’s Asian heritage. I’m married to another mixed race person and we have a wonderful marriage and our household is trilingual.
>How should I deal with the Indian-Americans who shame me for marrying interracial which leads to absence of Indian culture to my children?
Ignore them. You’re not responsible for how they feel about your marriage. You don’t need their approval on how to live your life.
>Why it was necessary to teach my American born children Indian culture?
It is beneficial for your children to learn about their heritage and culture. You can do this without compromising your marriage. If you go on mixed race subs you will see many people lamenting over how their parents neglected to exposed them to their culture and have deep regrets and identity crisis. My sister and I always appreciate that our parents made a point for us not to abandon our Asian heritage, it has enriched my life, broaden my horizons and made me a unique person.
>Why should I put Indian culture over my wife?
You don’t have to. Loving your wife and teaching your children Indian culture are not mutually exclusive. You can do both. In fact, you should involve your wife in the process. she will benefit from learning about Indian culture as well. Learning a new culture does not equal abandoning your original culture.
>My wife gives me emotional support. She supports me in every aspect of my life.
Great. Then she will probably support raising your children in a multi-cultural environment as well, which is to your children‘s advantage.
You can teach your children about their Indian heritage and Indian culture without it filling up every aspect of their lives. They can appreciate and love that part of themselves without being completely immersed in it on a daily basis. Unfortunately, some people will look down on your marriage and family if you don’t have the kids 100% immersed in that culture. The best you can do is ignore them and enjoy your family you love.
Tell those people to fuck off, directly to their face. I will say that you asking this is a touch concerning to be honest. Your wife and child are your primary concern. Anyone shaming you or trying to guilt you over them needs to go pound sand. You can introduce as much of as little cultural wise to your kid. And you don’t put anything above your wife. Best of luck.