My boyfriend and I are in our early 20’s and have been together over a year. A few months in we discovered we were both switches. I throughouly enjoy domming once or twice a month and so does he. We tried pegging and have been doing that for at least 6 months.
The issue is I will be so into it in the moment but hours after I feel uncomfortable and I feel some level of shame. I feel like im not into it until a few weeks go by and he asks or I suggest and then I’m totally for it. I’m bisexual I don’t judge people and I don’t see pegging as inherently bi/gay. Of course a straight man can enjoy it and my bf identities as straight. I still get insecure though because sometimes I get almost gender dysphoria from pegging? All of a sudden I’ll get a thought that the strap feels like a dick on me and I’m a cis woman who doesn’t want a dick. I have no problem even if my bf was bi, but I have a fear that he’s imagining it being a dick on me. I wouldn’t care if he liked dicks-just not on me. I’m a very open person but my bf took a while to admit to me he wanted to be pegged. I have this fear that he’ll eventually admit he imagines it being attached to me. I know this is kind of illogical but I dont know how to shake this feeling that’s kind of killing the enjoyment for me.
Any advice would be appreciated
7 comments
Why don’t you try it without the strap on. Hold it in your hand and use it on him.
This activity is, you say, making you “fear” a revelation that *he* has some unwelcome desires. I suspect — I’m definitely not sure — what’s really going on with you is that there is something you disapprove of in yourself. Or you worry that you may be some particular thing that you disapprove of. I can’t put my finger on what that might be. Maybe instead it’s something you disapprove of in others, despite your protestation. Ask yourself why it bothers you that he’s making you feel like a man. (You’re already wondering why it makes you feel like a man.)
In the meantime, experiment with how your feelings change when you quit pounding him and only penetrate him, with fingers or a dildo. He may miss being pounded. Maybe you are annoyed with him for pressing you into service to fuck him in the ass and you feel it’s high time he got a man to do it. Maybe he doesn’t want the touch of a man.
Maybe part of what you are experiencing is dom drop. Does he do any sort of after care after you dom him?
OK…so I am bi…and have only ever been honest with 1 gf who did peg me a few times…unfortunately, most strap ons look like dicks, not just as a representation, but actually look like them…the fact is…wearing a strap on is not having a dick, and does not necessarily have to feel like having one, just that you have a dildo attached to you…and a guy wanting something up his arse does not mean he wants to be fucked by a guy…maybe he wants to have something up his arse his girlfriend has put there…but if you don’t feel comfortable with using a strap on….tell him…I’m sure he’d be just as happy you sticking a dildo up his arse, and most likely because it’s you doing it…OK…so I love cock as well…but was in monogamous hetero relationship…and I loved the fact that she was doing it and while it happened I wasn’t thinking about cock…I was thinking about the fact my gf was fucking me up the arse…but talk to him, not reddit, him….
I struggle to feel like me/my body is enough for my partner. It’s a very real, very scary, very painful feeling. Your partner is being pleasured by you with something that is not you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, and it could be triggering feelings of not being wanted or good enough.
You could try out a thigh harness, which might help with some of the dysphoria by putting the pegging device somewhere other than your groin.
Me personally would never let a woman do that to me btw im 19 horny and alit if energy