Heya, first post here, I hope I’m not breaking any rules š
Everyone knows the type of person that can be **temperamental**. And when something has **pissed them off** that day, you and the entire group will feel it.
To specify, let’s say you’re **meeting as a group** and one person arrives in the state described above.
I’m usually a pretty smiley person, but when confronted with such a person, I was at a dead end and didn’t know how to communicate with them. I of course want to still be friendly, but when someone has a bad day, that probably pisses them off even more. So, how do you approach this?
Thanks for your help š
4 comments
I am going to make a few assumptions here. The approach can differ based on prior closeness, the social occasion, and a few other things.
I’ll assume you don’t know them very well and you’re just trying to be a friendly person. I’ll also assume that this is a casual social occasion in not a business situation or school or something like that.
If that is the case I may open with a joke if I thought I could get them to chuckle. But I feel like you got past that part and decided that wasn’t a good approach. That’s cool. In that situation I think usually go with something along the lines of hey if you need an ear I’ve got two.
Then I let them know that it seems as if they are having a rough day. Then I would assure a person like this that I can keep a secret if they need someone to talk, and that I’m a good listener.
Be prepared for the possibility that it might take a bit.
If they are still aloof I may say something like I’m right over there if you want to make a new friend (or something similar from the heart but kind).
Kindness and understanding (and sometimes a little support) are your best chances of engagement I think.
That “if you want a new friend” has been used on me. It is powerful.
Try using an āall-businessā attitude, straightforward and even a little bit friendly. And then leave them alone. Maybe they will warm up later if they can overcome their discomfort.
Itās not your job to manage their experience, so you can just be easygoing w them and they can take it or leave it.
Um, by leaving them alone and not talking to them?
Tbh as a person that can be like this myself, I really think it depends on the individual, as this is part of oneās negative emotions or past problems/traumas and a situation/something that was perceived as unfair happened.
At this point I personally think what works best is trial and error. Try to be cheerful if that doesnāt work, try to do something nice to them, give them food or buy something, or if you can – try to solve their problem/the unfair situation, hear them out and let them speak whatās boggling them if they want to talk and if they donāt, give them space. Leave them alone.
What works on me personally is either solving the situation or leaving me alone and I clear head within 20minutes by myself and regain energy. I just feel like I have to be there in the group situation, out of kindness and canāt go be by myself. So maybe ask the person if she wants to be around and assure her itās okay if she wanna go and take some time off for herself/himself or go home.