Long story short, my boyfriend of two years was messaging a girl he claimed to be his cousin, he lied about her being his cousin for the better half of two years. I was suspicious of this due to the nature of her posts and him being the only one in his family who seemed to have any contact with her but I left it alone, just to be right all along.
She is significantly younger than us and he used to tell me that she struggled with addiction and he wanted to help her.
Yesterday morning she sent me screenshots of him messaging her off of his business account saying “hit me up i’m single” complimenting her, asked her to hang out and told her about an argument we had months ago. He claims he wasn’t thinking straight and this is the only time he’s ever done this in a relationship and it’s in the he one that meant something to him.
I don’t want to leave him but i’m not sure how we/i will overcome this. I don’t want to throw our relationship away but, I am also battling with staying with him because it makes me feel that i don’t respect myself and I do not have boundaries.
TL;DR: my boyfriend was messaging another female, that he lied about being his cousin for two years, telling her he was single. He claims it was a mistake and he’s not sure why he did it. How do i trust him again if i stay with him?
3 comments
>this is the only time he’s ever done this in a relationship
He doesn’t get to say this was a one-off when he’s been doing it for TWO YEARS. Almost your whole relationship! You don’t have any base of trust to fall back on at this point.
He lied to you for the entirety of your relationship, your entire relationship is a lie. There’s nothing to fix here, everything is broken, he made sure of that. Did he actually tell you he wasn’t thinking straight? For two years he wasn’t thinking straight? Gosh, that would make me dump him on the spot, his excuses are an insult to intelligence. To be honest, this isn’t something that should be overcame, it’s too much, your relationship has never even seen fidelity and honesty. I’m not sure what kind of respect and consideration you can expect if you let something like this fly and actually stay with him, it really does send the message that you’ll tolerate a lot.
He would’ve fucked someone else if he could’ve and he’d still be lying to your face now if he could. There’s nothing left to save.