I [F23] have been dating this guy [M25] for a little over 3 months now and we’ve made it official and exclusive and all is well. Obviously it hasn’t been that long enough for me to know everything about him but so far he’s the sweetest most attentive guy I’ve ever met. I’m Hindu and my parents are pretty strict when it comes to dating within our culture. However they aren’t as strict with me when it comes to how I dress, how late I’m out, they trust me and know that I won’t be out doing anything stupid until 2am.
Growing up I’ve always made it a point to tell them that when I date someone or marry someone I won’t be restricting it to my race and am open to anyone since I grew up in the western culture and have been exposed to interracial relationships my whole life. While I do understand that my parents came from a country where everyone married within the same culture, they also have to understand that living in Canada, especially Toronto, they can’t except the same norms.
Since I’ve been dating this guy, who is Caucasian, I’ve had to hide the fact that I’m with him or go to my cousin’s house to get ready for dates, lock all the flowers or gifts he’s gotten me in my room and it’s just ridiculous at this point. I’m still a student but I work as well in order to pay my tuition myself and pay for all my needs (gas, car insurance, groceries) myself. Unfortunately, while my job offers me the flexibility to work and study it doesn’t pay enough for me to pay my tuition and rent if I were to live alone. I know my parents will never kick me out over this but I know that when I do tell them, every time I leave the house or do anything really they’ll just automatically assume I’m with my boyfriend and it’ll cause unnecessary arguments.
My parents aside, I also don’t want my boyfriend to feel as though he’s my dirty little secret since he grew up being able to take his girlfriends home to see his parents but all of a sudden he can’t meet mine. He is very sweet and understanding and tries his hardest ti be there for me but it just sucks that I’m finally with someone who appreciates me and treats me so well but all that is overlook just because of his ethnicity.
Any advice or personal experiences with this kind of situation would be greatly appreciated.
TLDR: in an interracial relationship with a good dude but have super traditional parents and don’t know how to bring it up gently
2 comments
Yah your going to have to work the meet the parents thing in soon I mean if you want the relationship to work.
My late wife was Chinese I am also from Toronto.
And I am telling you you have to do the meet the parents thing very very soon if you want the realtionship to last more than a few months.
That being said sit your parents down and your going to have to tell them this is how it is this is how it’s going to be it’s your lovelife.
I wish you all the best of luck and happyness
My grandmother was disowned by her Hindu family for marrying a black person and becoming Christian. That may of been a different time but I’m sure this still happens. As much as we like to think it’s 2022 race doesn’t matter it very much does on dating. It will be an uphill battle and interracial/intercultural relationships like this often require a lot compromise from both sides and often one of the parties has to capitulate. For example a couple I know mother is Jewish father was raised Catholic. For it to work the father had to agree to raise the children Jewish and essentially assimilated more into his wife cultural. That is what I mean by compromise and capitulation.